


Lucky Number Five (or The Exploitations of Buzzfeed)

by youvebeenscuppered



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Buzzfeed: Worth It (Web Series)
Genre: A lot of kissing, Anal Fingering, Andrew/Steven is implied, Blowjobs, Bottom Ryan, But It’s Regular Big, Comedy, Dirty Talk, Friends to Lovers, Intercrural Sex, It’s for a video and it’s Shane he gets with, Kissing, M/M, Minor Andrew Ilnyckyj/Steven Lim, Ryan Bergara & Shane Madej - Freeform, Ryan Bergara Loves Shane Madej, Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej - Freeform, Ryan Realises He’s Into Men, Ryan Watches Gay Porn as Research, Ryan is a Dumbass, Ryan is roped into a Buzzfeed video where he is blindfolded and has to guess who’s kissing him, Ryan sucks dick for like two thousand words, Shane Madej Being an Idiot, Shane Madej Has a Big Dick, Shane Madej Loves Ryan Bergara, So whilst Ryan technically kisses other people in this, Spanking, THIS IS A RYAN/SHANE STORY, Top Shane, Very very slight Dom/Sub undertones, We’re Not Talking Ridiculous Here, Yes I know it’s a dumb plot line, but not really, handjobs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:20:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23881447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youvebeenscuppered/pseuds/youvebeenscuppered
Summary: Ryan’s somehow managed to get himself roped into a Buzzfeed video where he’s blindfolded and kissed by five of his coworkers. That’s already bad enough to last him a lifetime, but the problem is, Ryan’s a little preoccupied with whoever the fuck number five is.(Spoiler: it’s Shane.)
Relationships: Ryan Bergara & Shane Madej, Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej
Comments: 156
Kudos: 936
Collections: The Ghosts Are Watching





	1. Ryan’s in a Pickle

**Author's Note:**

> Hi - STRONGLY SUGGEST YOU READ THE TAGS! Tags will be updated alongside the story - this will be explicit in a few chapters, so bear that in mind. Ryan does kiss multiple people in this work, for a Buzzfeed video - the only one he is attracted to and kisses again is Shane. There’s a bunch of Buzzfeed employees in this, mostly for the jokes, and implied/referenced Steven/Andrew. 
> 
> This is told from Ryan’s focal point, but is in the third person if that matters to you - it’s a fun story with a really stupid, frivolous and self-indulgent plot line! Enjoy!

“Alright Ryan, gear up! There’s a storm of smoochin’ coming your way!” 

Ryan grinned, shoulder checking Shane out of the way as they stood up from their desks. 

“This is so stupid. I know people are gonna click on it too, it’s gonna go crazy.”

He shook his head, scrubbing at the back of his neck as he and Shane made their way out of their office to the set warehouse. Ryan was about to embark on what he privately considered to be the worst, most exploitative video shoot that Buzzfeed had ever roped him into, but considering that they were walking on thin ice with the company after starting Watcher, he felt it was probably better to cooperate. Maybe the execs were having a laugh at his expense, but either way Ryan would do pretty much anything to keep his dream set-up of Unsolved and Watcher. “Anything” apparently included kissing a bunch of his coworkers. Blindfolded. Whilst being filmed for YouTube. Hey, who said he ever made great decisions?

When he’d been pulled aside by Curly who was obviously the criminal behind such a heinous video idea, he had balked instantly. 

“Ryan, come on, it won’t be so bad! I promise I won’t give you anyone ugly!” 

He’d laughed then, clapping Curly on the back and agreeing because hey, why the heck not? 

Now he was starting to understand why the heck he shouldn’t have. 

It’s not that Ryan was - you know, he wasn’t a _prude_. He’d kissed plenty of people, thank you very much. Not so much recently, but that was because he was busy, alright? Busy with the new company and Unsolved and living in LA. Plus, he reasoned, he spent way too much time hanging out with Shane and his friends in bars to be getting off with other people. So there. 

The problem was though, it _had_ been awhile. And kissing five people in one day wasn’t something he’d done since the height of his extremely questionable frat days. 

Shane was just grinning ear to ear, which was a great look on him, but was nonetheless pissing Ryan off. When he’d asked to come and watch, to quote-on-quote “see you get ritually sacrificed to the sex-obsessed YouTube audience, it’s gonna be _great_ ”, Ryan really didn’t have an excuse to say no. So of course, Shane was strolling next to him, coming to see the demise of Ryan’s self-respect be recorded on camera. _Excellent._

“Are you nervous?” Shane asked, smiling at him as he opened the door to the set room, ushering Ryan in. 

Ryan sighed, taking in the sight of the Buzzfeed interns doing important-looking things like sound checks and setting things up according to Curly’s strict directions. A bunch of his coworkers were milling around that he had, until now, had respectable adult friendships with.

“Yeah, a little. It’s just a stupid video though. I’m considering it a thank-you gift to the execs so they stop bothering us about Watcher.” 

Shane huffed out a laugh. 

“One hell of a thank-you gift.” 

Ryan grinned, feeling appeased. He could do this, right? It wouldn’t be so bad. It could even be... fun? 

The gleam in Shane’s eye was worrying. 

Entertaining at the least, then, but Ryan had the feeling that he would be acting as the unfortunate entertainment.

“Alright, ladies and gents!” Curly shouted, clapping his hands. “Welcome to the shoot that you all so kindly and eagerly volunteered for!” 

There was a chorus of boos and thumbs-down from the group, which Ryan could now see included the Ladylike girls, the Worth It team, a few of the Tasty crew and randomly assorted editors and producers. Even TJ was there, and Ryan waved, and _Oh God what if he had to kiss Teej?_

“You blackmailed all of us!” Steven shouted, gaining laughs from everyone, including Curly.

“And here you all are.” Curly said sweetly, winking at the camera.

“Alright, so the challenge today is this. Five people are gonna be blindfolded one at a time. They are going to be trying to guess the identities of five of their coworkers in turn. And they will be doing this by the most _romantic_ of all gestures - the kiss!”

Ryan could almost hear the shocked gasps, whip sound effects and rose petals that Buzzfeed was definitely going to edit into this video.

Andrew, who had sidled up to Ryan and Shane with Steven in tow, muttered “It’s disturbing how much he’s enjoying this.”

Ryan stifled a laugh with his hand, grinning. 

“Each blindfolded person will be kissed by five of their randomly selected coworkers and try to guess who they are. The coworkers may choose how _saucy_ they want their kisses to be.” Curly piqued his head coquettishly, winking at the camera again as his audience laughed. “But let’s it keep it monetise-able folks!” 

Shane leaned in, whispering in Ryan’s ear “Wanna bet that this’ll become a series when it gets millions of views from the rabid public?” 

Ryan snorted, leaning in, “I’m honestly surprised they didn’t ask you to participate, big guy. You’re plenty smoochable.” 

Shane smiled, but there was something tight in his expression. Ryan wondered what’s kind of nerve he’d hit, which was so uncommon with Shane, but he didn’t have time to ask him about it before Curly was saying “Now let’s meet our five lucky guessers! These guys will be kissed by five of the fifteen or so people we have here, and to spice things up a little, they could even be kissed by one of their fellow guessers, _oooooh!”_

Praying to all the was good and holy to protect him in these trying times, Ryan walked onto the set with Andrew, Devin, Rei and a woman he was pretty sure also worked in the Tasty department, but he didn’t remember her name. Alice, maybe? 

“Here we have our five contestants! We have the lovely Devin from Ladylike, Andrew Impronouncable-Last-Name from Worth It, Rei and Alex from the Tasty department, and finally Unsolved’s own Ryan Bergara!” 

There was a series of whoops and wolf-whistles from the group of people that Ryan was potentially about to kiss, God help him. And Shane of course, who’d come because he loved to watch Ryan be tortured. Speaking of, Shane gave him a thumbs up and a toothy grin from behind the camera, having seemingly forgotten his tight expression. Oddly enough, it helped to centre Ryan a little, calming the nerves and embarrassment. 

“So, ladies and gents, you ready to get _smooched?_ Gloriously swept off your feet? _Romanced?_ ” Curly asked, sweeping wide arms over his victims. 

“We’re here under duress.” Andrew deadpanned to the camera. 

“We have literally no choice.” Ryan joined in, earning a thumbs up from the producer. _That’ll go in the cold-open then_ , he thought. 

Ryan had been informed in the email that he’d also be kissing two of the guessers, Andrew and Alex, now that he remembered her name, on their turns. At least it was only two. 

“Alright, first up! Andrew!” Curly whipped a blindfold out from his back pocket with a flourish that was truly evil. 

“You’re enjoying this too much.” Said Andrew, grinning at the camera as the rest of the guessers filed off and the blindfold was slotted over his eyes. 

Ryan was in flurry of activity from then on, having to get a number 3 on a board hung round his neck and standing on the right mark, laughing as Andrew grumbled. Ryan noticed he was clenching his hand convulsively though. _Guess I’m not the only one who’s nervous._

The first kissers for Andrew were Kristen and Jen, who both pecked him as quickly as possible on the lips. He guessed that they were both Ladylike women, but guessed Kristen and Chantel, much to Jen’s silent outrage, as they weren’t allowed to reveal who they were until the end of his turn.

Next up was Ryan, and though kissing a man really wasn’t his ballgame, it was surprisingly uneventful. He stepped on his mark, made sure his body was positioned correctly for the camera, and shot a quick glance at Shane for courage. He was still standing exactly where Ryan left him, and he gave Ryan an encouraging grin. He couldn’t be sure from this distance, but he didn’t know if the smile reached Shane’s eyes. 

Deciding to stop being a pussy and just get over it, with the whoops of his coworkers ringing in his ears, he leant in and pressed a short kiss to Andrew‘s lips. The sensation of stubble was disconcerting, but Ryan forced himself to linger for a second before pulling back and wiping his mouth, grinning. _Wasn’t so bad,_ he thought.

Andrew laughed as soon Ryan pulled back, and drawled “So I know that was a male coworker of mine, but I couldn’t tell who. Uh, Chris from the Tasty team?” 

When the group laughed and turned to look at Chris, who was blushing a bright shade of vermillion, Andrew shook his blindfolded head. 

“Clearly I’m wrong, but I don’t know who that was.” 

Ryan winked at the camera before stepping out of frame after Curly’s nod, who popped his head into frame. 

“You can ask anyone you’re not sure about for a repeat kiss at the end of your turn.” With that, Curly grinned at Ryan, who leaned his head back in to shoot an eyebrow-waggle at the camera.

Next up for Andrew actually was Chris from the Tasty team, which he guessed correctly this time, and finally, because Buzzfeed were predictable and exploitative, Steven. He was clearly nervous, the number 5 around his neck wobbling a little as he bounced on the balls of his feet, but he seemed to be taking the whole thing in stride as he quickly marched up to Andrew and planted a strong kiss square on his lips. 

The whoops from the audience were loud, and Steven pulled back to laugh and shake his head. 

Andrew grinned, and tilted his head. “Not sure. Can I have it again?” 

“You’d like that wouldn’t you _Papi_?” Curly crooned from off-camera.

There were loud cheers and wolf-whistles, Ryan clapping his hands and grinning as Steven leant in again, pressing another, slower kiss to Andrew’s mouth. 

Andrew cleared his throat, his hand clenching, but he was smiling. “I’m gonna guess that that’s my partner in crime, Steven Lim.” 

“More than just in crime!” Someone shouted from the audience, to erupting laughter. 

“Do you want number 3 again?” Curly asked, mischief behind his eyes. 

“No, I think I got it. That was Ryan, wasn’t it? Knew it from the height.” 

“I’m 5’9”, asshole!” Ryan shouted, much to Curly’s delight. There was a scramble to take off his number and put it behind his back, having almost forgotten that there was actually a game-show guessing aspect to this whole charade of Curly’s perversity.

He lined up with the rest of Andrew’s guesses, and grinned at Shane as Andrew took off his blindfold. 

“Are you happy with these guesses?” Curly asked. 

“Yeah.” Said Andrew, nodding his head, looking at Steven.

“Alright,” said Curly, turning to the group of them. “If Andrew guessed you correctly, raise your hand and show us your number.” 

Ryan raised his hand and brought out his board, alongside Kristen, Chris and Steven, whom Andrew was smiling mighty fondly at. 

“You thought I was Jen!” Chantel yelled from off-set. 

“You thought I was Chantel!” Jen said, flipping the bird at Andrew, who was laughing.

“Four out of five, Andrew, not bad!” 

Andrew blushed a little under the applause, scrubbing his neck and looking at Steven, who was smiling at him. Ryan got the sense that maybe all those comments about those two weren’t all that unfounded.

“Next up, Devin!” 

Ryan sighed in relief as he got to walk off the set and stay off, not being involved at all with Devin’s turn.

The rest of the shoot was as normal as kissing your coworkers on camera could be. Kissing Alex was awkward, because he had spoken all of three words to her, but she guessed him correctly and smiled at him afterwards, so that was nice. Ryan had been joking around with Shane, heckling Teej from off camera with the rest of his friends and had almost forgotten his impending doom when Curly said 

“And now for our final guesser, the esteemed, the unmatchable, the vertically challenged... Ryan Bergara!” 

Ryan shot a suddenly nervous look at Shane, who rolled his eyes and gripped him on the shoulder.

“You got this - it’s just kissing. Doesn’t have to mean anything.”

Ryan blew out a breath and nodded, somewhat appeased. Stepping up to the orange mark in frame had never felt so perilous, but he decided internally that he would still marginally prefer this over the Sallie House. Marginally.

“Welcome, Ryan.” Said Curly, with all the demented energy of a game show host going off the rails. “Are you excited?” 

“I do scary things for a living, and I’ve never been more terrified.” Ryan said, giving a wide grin to the camera, feeling relieved when his coworkers laughed and Shane yelled “Hell yeah!” From behind the camera. 

“Alright my friend, time to enter the twilight zone!” Curly said, pulling the blindfold out and leaning in closer than strictly necessary to pull it over Ryan’s eyes. “Good luck.” Curly whispered, which really didn’t bode well for Ryan’s nerves. He was dismayed to find out that the blindfold wasn’t a trick one, and he really was going to have to guess despite the pitch black covering his eyes. He felt a little off balance. _Why the fuck didn’t he say no?_

“Kisser number one, please step up to the plate and kiss this handsome, handsome man.” 

Ryan heard a cut off giggle before someone shorter than him quickly pressed a peck to his lips, clearly holding in laughter. Ryan would recognise that perfume anywhere - 

“That’s Kristen, one hundred percent. Do I have red lipstick on now?” 

The crowd laughed. 

“You wish I kissed you long enough for that!” Kristen said, blowing her cover but probably pleasing Curly. 

Ryan shook his head, grinning, folding his arms behind his back and silently feeling thankful that he was able to do this and it wasn’t so bad after all. 

“Number 2, you’re up!” 

Ryan felt a whoosh of displaced air as the next person stepped up with heavy feet, and pressed a surprisingly soft kiss to his lips. No stubble - but tall, and Ryan could swear he sort of - recognised the mouth? It sounded gross even in his head, but he was pretty sure. It wasn’t like he’d - you know, _imagined_ it or anything, it was just. Um. Recognisable? 

“I think that’s Steven Lim, if I’m not mistaken.” 

“Hands off Andrew’s man!” Someone, probably Jen, yelled from the audience to uproarious laughter. Ryan laughed too, ducking his head and feeling thankful that he’d gone last and everyone was feeling relaxed at this point. 

“Andrew can keep him.” Ryan said, turning his head to where he assumed the camera to be and shooting finger guns. 

“ _Awful._ ” Steven muttered under his breath, and Ryan laughed. He was doing a lot of that for a situation that he’d thought would be like slow, embarrassing torture. 

“Alright, number 3 steps up to the plate!” 

Ryan readied himself, as someone much much shorter than him pressed the most delicate of kisses to his lips. 

“Oh my god, that was beautiful.” Ryan said, scrunching his eyes under his blindfold and grinning. “That felt like being kissed by a butterfly!” 

There was a general chorus of “Aww’s” rippling through the audience, which Ryan found gross but a little endearing. 

“I’m assuming that was Rie?”

“Hmm, who knows, so difficult to tell!” Said Curly, barely restraining laughter. 

“Number 4, this is your moment! Let’s make it happen, sugar.” 

Ryan’s lips, much like his pride, were starting to feel a little abused. But, now that he was in it and participating he could see the harmless fun in it, plus the money being raked in. It wasn’t so bad after all.

If a kiss could be described as _gruff_ , this would be it, because good _God_. Ryan took a sharp step back, wiping his mouth and making fake spitting noises because he knew instantly who that was -

“What the _fuck_ , Teej! Why would you agree to this, oh my god, I’m scarred for _life_.” 

The thick beard had been decidedly unhelpful too, Ryan decided, as he listened helplessly to his coworkers sniggering at his expense. 

“So your guess for number 4 is TJ, Ryan? Your lovely, sexy cameraman?” Curly teased.

“Fuck off, Curly, yes that’s my guess.” 

Ryan wiped his mouth one last time for good measure. Teej was his _friend_ , and what had happened just now was unholy.

“Alright, Ryan, time for your final mystery kisser! Who could it be? Side note: it’s not a ghost.” 

Ryan could objectively understand that Curly was cracking a joke at his expense, but he was a little preoccupied with the change in tone in the room. Where previously his coworkers had been making a bunch of noise - cackling, cracking jokes, heckling, everything that made sound editing a nightmare - they were suddenly quiet. _Weird._

Someone stepped into his space, slightly closer than the others had been, and Ryan jolted a little as a finger was placed under his chin, tilting his jaw up until he was practically facing the ceiling. _Who the fuck was this tall in the group of potential kissers?_

Ryan didn’t have any more time to be confused though, because someone was pressing the sweetest fucking kiss to his mouth, and it was - it was wonderful, is what it was, purposeful and deliberate and barely restrained in the gentle press of teeth behind lips. The thing was - Ryan had by no means forgotten that he was on camera, and _this kiss was going on for an awfully long time, wasn’t it?_ It was hard to focus on that though, when the mouth pressed to his pushed forward just the tiniest amount - the barest increase in pressure - before separating from his. 

Ryan’s ears felt like they were underwater, and he was so _confused_ because maybe he’d not been paying the most attention and had lost himself a little, but that was definitely _stubble_ that he’d felt pressed to his top lip. 

_A man, then. But who the fuck is that tall? Steven’s already gone, and he isn’t that fucking big - oh._

Ryan knew his mouth was a little open and he still hadn’t said anything, much to the delight of Curly who, somewhere to Ryan’s left said “Look, he’s speechless!” 

The crowd was applauding then, whooping and whistling loudly, but Ryan was still turning over the new possibility that had presented itself in his brain. 

_No one on the other team is that tall - except for Shane. But surely he would have told him he was involved? And why hasn’t he kissed anyone else? And surely he wouldn’t kiss Ryan like - kiss him like_ that, _like he meant it._

Ryan cleared his throat, the tips of his ears feeling as hot as the surface of the sun and his cheeks no less red. 

“Uh, this person seems pretty fucking tall, guys.”

The audience laughed, and someone shouted “One of you has to be!” 

_Rude._

It had to be Shane. Logically, Ryan knew that, but - it was so _incongruous_. Ryan’s concept of Shane, unfazed, funny, dry, as much of an idiot as him - surely Shane wouldn’t kiss him like _that_.

“Look, I think I have an idea, but I’m gonna need a second one to be sure.” Ryan said, because hey, if Shane was partaking in the challenge without telling him, he could suffer with Ryan a little longer. _Yup. That was, uh, the only reason._

There was wild applause and Ryan yet again had no warning, just managing to tilt his face up in time and - _hello_. That was definitely Shane’s five o’clock moustache pressing to his upper lip, that was his stubble pressing to his skin, those were Shane’s thin lips moulding to his with purpose, _what the fuck_. 

Ryan lost himself for a second, kissing back thoughtlessly before he remembered that that was _not_ part of the challenge, and hastily pulled back, stumbling a step backwards.

“Get a little lost there, Ry-Guy?” Came Curly’s saccharine sweet voice from his left. 

Even though he was wearing a blindfold, Ryan was seriously considering attempting to punch Curly’s arm. 

“Shut up, Curly.” He settled on instead, making a pitiful attempt at acting like his whole inner world wasn’t falling apart because he’d just kissed his giant coworker and had maybe, slightly, just perhaps, caught feelings about it. Ryan didn’t know how to even begin processing that. _Shit._

“Have you remembered that this is the part where you guess who it was?” Curly asked, and the laughter of his coworkers was ringing through Ryan’s ears again. 

“Yeah, uh, if that’s who I think it is, you guys are cheating bastards. It’s Shane, isn’t it?” 

“Alright, everyone who Ryan guessed, please stand in line!” 

Ryan heard the trampling of feet and the excited giggling of his coworkers, and he’d never anticipated taking off a blindfold with such dread before. Not that he came into contact with a lot of blindfolds. _Ahem._

“Okay Ryan, take a look.” 

Curly pinged the blindfold off Ryan’s head before he could even attempt to take it off himself, and he blinked in the bright white lights of the studio, staring at the line of people in front of him. 

“You guys look like a terrible barber shop quintet.” He told them numbly, eyes fixed on Shane’s face, trying to glean any information from his unreadable expression at the end of the line. His hands were behind his back. 

“Alright, if Ryan guessed you correctly, please raise your hand and show us your board!” 

There was a beat of silence - the group stared at him, and Ryan briefly wondered if maybe he’d gotten nobody right, _oh God_ \- but then, Kristen, Steven, Rie and TJ raised their hands and brought out their boards, in perfect order. Ryan barely paid attention though, because a beat later Shane gave him a wry, utterly devastating grin and lifted two fingers into the air, bringing out a board from behind his back that read “number 5”.

Ryan felt all the air leave his lungs briefly as the world righted itself on the new axis of Shane kissing him like _that_. He seemed to hang suspended in time for a moment, breathing in the blank space between logic and reason before it all came rushing in like the tide and Curly was clapping him on the back, saying “You got five out of five Ryan, those lips of yours are experienced!” in that game-show voice. 

Ryan couldn’t have cared less, but he forced himself to be jovial and charming, forced himself to crack jokes about how they cheated by putting the big guy in, et cetera et cetera. It felt like years before someone called “Cut!”

All of his coworkers swarmed the set, laughing and exchanging jokes. He vaguely recognised that people were talking to him, but his head felt underwater again as he watched Shane throw him a single, open glance - and slip out the door. 

When he felt like he’d made enough excuses to leave, he got out of the studio door and stopped dead, because _what was his plan here?_ Act like nothing happened? Run after Shane and demand an explanation? Run after Shane and... try it without the blindfold? 

_Good God_ , Ryan thought, sagging against the wall where he could still hear his coworkers talking about the shoot. _This is not good._

Like it or not, he knew something was different, and it was seriously fucking with his ability to think anything resembling coherent thought. He needed a plan of action, he knew that - something to stave away the tide of panic that was creeping on him from all angles, but he was like driftwood in the flood. He had the somewhat manic notion that if he didn’t get his act together, he was going to be washed out to sea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a happy story!!! Don’t worry the minor angst gets resolved very soon. 
> 
> Also, if you like it so far please let me know!


	2. Ryan’s in an Even Bigger Pickle (but he’s super subtle about it)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryan? Dealing with his emotions in a mature, not-super-weird way? Not on your life. He’s so boned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Welcome to the Ryan Thinks A Lot Chapter! This is full of Ryan thinkin’ bout Shane and some revelations.

An hour later, like the well-adjusted and emotionally mature adult he was, Ryan was holed up in an unused room in the corner of the Buzzfeed offices with the lights off, hoping desperately not to be noticed. 

He just needed to _think_. He was see-sawing wildly between _“Shane himself said it’s just a kiss and it doesn’t have to mean anything”_ and _“holy shit my coworker and best friend is in love with me”._

It was, needless to say, a tad headache-inducing. 

Ever practical, Ryan rationalised into the quiet of the room, taking himself to court and standing as judge, jury and prosecutor. It was the only way he knew how to get to something resembling processing it, and he knew it was ridiculous, but after an hour it was all he had and frankly, he wasn’t sure his brain was capable of producing anything more promising. 

He took his place on the stand as prosecutor.

“If Shane is - if Shane can kiss me like that, it can’t just mean nothing. You can’t kiss someone like your life depends on it and have it mean nothing.”

The defendant lawyer straightened his imaginary tie.

“Ah yes, but the defendant himself said that kisses don’t have to mean anything - the prosecutor could be entirely overreacting. In addition, the kiss occurred on camera for a juvenile video that perfectly showcases the exploitation of Buzzfeed - it seems unlikely that the defendant would choose such an insincere moment to confess his sincere feelings.” 

“Yes,” said the prosecutor, “That theory would stand if it weren’t also true that the defendant, one Shane Alexander Madej, is a massive idiot.” 

Ryan took up the stand again. “Counterpoint: the victim of the crime, one Ryan Steven Bergara, is also a massive idiot.” 

The prosecutor nodded. “That is true.”

“So where does this leave us?” The judge asked, gavel in hand. The jury nodded, confused.

The prosecutor straightened his tie again. “It is clear that the evidence collected is circumstantial and neither party involved is capable of being without bias - therefore, the only option is to collect more data. The court session can reconvene when additional information is known.” 

Ryan blinked, the scene dissipating as he came back to the empty room. _Additional information. Right._

Ryan was pretty sure it was unethical to perform social experiments on your best friend and work partner to see if they were in love with you, but hey, all’s fair in love and war.

Ryan just wasn’t sure which one it was yet. He pictured the conversation.

 _”Hey Shane, ol’ buddy ol’ pal! When you kissed me for a stupid Buzzfeed video it rocked me to my core and now I’m having a crisis and possibly have feelings for you, so if it’s all groovy with you I’m gonna test you subtly to see if you’re in love with me! I also haven’t even addressed that I have no idea if you’re into men, and until today I didn’t think I was into men and it’s never something I’ve given serious thought to! Consequently, I have absolutely no idea how to categorise this newfound obsession and attraction to you! Nice!”_

Yeah, Ryan didn’t see that one working out too well. 

The attraction thing really was threatening to pull him out to sea again, because Ryan really wasn’t one to have a Big Gay Crisis at his place of employment, but - But why _was_ he so obsessed? Why had he taken one kiss and blown it up into this? Why couldn’t he shrug it off like any other of his strange interactions with the myth that was Shane Madej? 

_”It’s because you’ve done what you always do,”_ whispered a quiet rational voice in Ryan’s head that had hitherto remained unfortunately silent. “ _You get obsessed with the things you like and can’t let them go. You need to understand them so you can understand why you like them so much, so you can better understand yourself. You’ve been best friends with him for years - and you’ve never grown tired, never felt weary. You’ve greedily eaten up every minute of time you’ve had with him because you’re in love with him, and you’ll never be full. Well and truly, you idiot, you’re in love with him but you wouldn’t let yourself know it. He makes you better - you’d do anything, throw your coat over a puddle, throw your money into a company, throw yourself into a demon house, anything at all to stay with him. You love him, you fool. You never entertained that he could love you back. Now you’ve been shown the possibility, you don’t know what to do with yourself, even though the opportunity is right in front of you and yours for the taking. Talk to him, you imbecile. **Talk to him.**_ “

What a convenient time for his rationality to kick in, Ryan thought numbly. _Huh._

He looked around the darkened room slowly, the afternoon light beginning to fade away.

Could Ryan even... could he _be_ in a relationship with a man? It wasn’t something he’d ever tried before, and logistically, he wasn’t even sure how that _worked_ , let alone how it would work with Shane. 

He shivered a little, cold from sitting in the gloom for so long. He traced his fingers idly over his bottom lip, chasing the ghostly press of Shane’s mouth and the phantom heat of his body, curling around him, surrounding and warm and so fucking _right_. He could see it, the two of them stumbling through ghost-houses, holding hands in the small hours of the night, laughing with the crew, like it had always been but so, so different. He could imagine resting his head on Shane’s shoulder in the car rides home, where they would go to the same home, _their_ home. They would throw their stuff down uncaring, would deal with it in the morning as they kicked off shoes and put down keys, shrugging off jackets and shirts and jeans and crawling into bed together, the hot press of bare skin along skin and the miles and miles of Shane’s legs tangling with his, big hands roaming over his body under sheets and the frantic press of his mouth against -

Ryan started, jumping from his reverie like he’d been physically burned. He scrubbed a hand over his face, screwing his eyes closed and sighing. 

_So maybe I’ve liked him for a while and this whole denial thing really got out of hand and now it’s a massive problem. Yikes._

He was perched on the edge of the disused desk, head in hands and contemplating the repercussions of just changing his name and fleeing to Mexico when someone was knocking on the door, and opening it. Ryan looked up, ready to explain to whoever it was that he was just answering emails and came here for the quiet yadda yadda, but all of the moisture in his mouth immediately evaporated upon seeing that the man at the door was indeed his new found obsession.

 _”Shane.”_ his brain said, helpfully blanking on anything useful. 

He was so boned.

“Shane.” Ryan croaked, clearing his throat and looking anywhere other than Shane’s face to find a believable reason to be in here that wasn’t “ _I am so attracted to you it hurts and that kiss was great, let’s do it again?_ ”

Shane was looking at him, a nervous smile on his face that nonetheless reached his lopsided eyes. 

“Hey, Ryan.” 

Ryan belatedly realised he’d been away from his desk for over two hours with zero explanation. _Again, yikes._

“So, uh. You’re in here,” Shane said, shutting the door and leaning his back to it. “I’ve been all over the Buzzfeed buildings looking for you. Would’ve thought you’d gone home if you hadn’t left your laptop in the office.”

“Oh.” Said Ryan, extremely eloquently.

“Yeah.” Said Shane, scratching the back of his neck. “So are you gonna tell me why you’ve been hiding in an old office for two hours? I was - I was worried about you, man.” 

Ryan’s heart throbbed in his chest, his stomach blossoming with butterflies because Shane had been _worried about him_ and oh God, this newfound love for Shane was seriously going to fuck him over because Ryan was just _staring_ at the guy, examining the face that he’d looked at and laughed with for four years and realising that _yes, actually, it was a handsome face. I could kiss that face. I kinda want to kiss that face, actually._

Shane was fidgeting against the door, avoiding his eyes, and Ryan realised he still hadn’t actually answered the man’s question yet. He opened his mouth, but Shane beat him to it.

“Look, it was a joke, Ryan. Curly asked me to surprise you as your final kiss because it would be funny and would garner a lot of views and - and I didn’t think it would make you so uncomfortable that you felt you had to hide from me. I wouldn’t have done it if I’d known Ryan, okay, you have to believe that. I know you’re not - this wasn’t me trying to _suggest_ anything, you know, you’re safe from my bisexual advances, which I really thought wouldn’t bother you about me but clearly I misjudged -“ 

Ryan cut him off there, because _what?_

“What?” Ryan said, totally interrupting the longest and most passionate speech he had ever heard Shane deliver, but dropping that he was bi _now_ was one hell of a bombshell. 

Shane looked like a puppet with the wind taken out of his sails, his shoulders sagging and his brow creasing.

“What?” 

Ryan shook his head, gesturing.

“What do you mean, bisexual?” 

Shane looked at him, confused. 

“... I’m bi. You know that - I’ve told you that.” 

Ryan spluttered, standing up, because _what?!_

“No, no you didn’t. I’m pretty sure I’d remember something like that, Shane.”

Shane frowned some more.

“I did - when we first went out together, like a month after starting at Buzzfeed, we went to that bar downtown with the guys. Don’t you - don’t you remember?” 

Ryan’s eyes were doing their best to bulge out of his skull.

“I remember that night, yeah, I remember going to the bar and drinking way too much, dancing and then going home and throwing up violently into my bathtub. At no point was your sexuality a topic of discussion! I think I’d remember, big guy.”

Shane was rubbing two fingers across his brow now, forehead creased into clear confusion as he remembered that night. 

“We talked about it, Ryan! I remember being nervous because you’re an ex-frat guy and I was worried you’d be like, super homophobic or biphobic or whatever. But you told me that all was gravy with you and I was smart for expanding my dating pool to both genders.” 

Ryan strained his memory, remembering nothing but Shane’s smile that night, his four-years younger face lit up with alcohol as they danced and began forging their way to a friendship, but there were no bisexual bells ringing.

“I got nothing. If we had that conversation, I was too drunk to remember. And!” said Ryan, feeling a little self-righteous, “You never had a boyfriend these past few years, you’ve only been on dates with women, so how was I meant to know?”

Shane let his head fall back into the door in defeat, closing his eyes for a moment before opening them to look at Ryan. His voice was soft when he asked “You really didn’t know?” 

Ryan spluttered. “No, dude, I didn’t know! It’s fine, by the way, I’m not biphobic, it’s all fine, I just - I didn’t know.” 

“Oh.” Said Shane, seeming far away for a moment. “That explains a lot.” 

Ryan was about to ask him what he meant by that, but Shane suddenly stood away from the door, landing accusatory eyes on him.

“So if you’re not in here for biphobic reasons after I kissed you for a stupid video, why _have_ you been hiding for two hours?”

Ryan did his best to not look shifty as he cleared his throat and looked away. _Casual, Bergara, you can do this. Don’t give yourself away._

“I was just, you know. Thinking ‘bout some stuff. No biggie.” 

_Yeah. Smooth, that’ll get em, you fucking idiot._ Ryan cringed. 

Shane narrowed his eyes, clearly not picking up what Ryan was putting down. Ryan made the ill-advised decision to press onwards with gusto. 

“It’s, uh, unrelated to the video. That was totally chill. No problems there.” 

Internally, Ryan was banging his head against a brick wall. 

Shane raised an eyebrow, leaning a shoulder against the door and looking so devastatingly attractive that Ryan felt his breath hiccup. 

“So you’re fine.” Shane said, doubt laced heavily into every word. 

“Yup.” Said Ryan, popping the _p_ and immediately strongly regretting it. 

Shane opened the door a little. “So you’re good to come back to the office with me?” 

Ryan hesitated just a split-second before nodding his head jerkily. 

“Absolutely.” 

Shane raised an eyebrow, eyes focussed intently on Ryan. He felt the odd need to squirm under the scrutiny. 

“Let’s go then.” Shane said, swinging the door open and gesturing Ryan through.

Praying that his legs wouldn’t falter, Ryan went.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooooh!! Next chapter will be fairly long, and will involve some research, some self-discovery, if the sexual kind.


	3. Self-Discovery is Fun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryan does some self-exploration on the sexual side and watches gay porn for “research”, so if that’s not what you’re into, go onto the next chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 🎵 Let’s talk about sex, baby 🎵

The rest of the day was _agony_. Ryan, because he was Ryan, was itching to just go home and do some fucking research. He had to know if he could do this, if that knot of anxiety in the pit of his stomach could turn into something more pleasurable when he was thinking about a man.

He _had_ to know.

The office had a tense atmosphere, certainly, with the two of them working on a travel plan for their next episode of Tourist Trapped, which they technically weren’t meant to be working on in the Buzzfeed offices, but whatever. They talked _almost_ normally, Shane cracking jokes and Ryan smiling, but there was the distinct smell of artificiality in the air. 

When Ryan climbed into the Uber to go home at precisely 5:02pm, he’d never felt more relieved. If the Uber driver looked at him strangely and asked him twice if he was feeling okay, that was neither here nor there. 

Shutting his apartment door, Ryan made a beeline for his bedroom and immediately opened his laptop, changing into comfortable shorts and shrugging off his shirt whilst it booted up. 

He was so hasty that it wasn’t until he was seated with his back to the headboard, his laptop resting on his knees and the PornHub browser blinking at him that he realised what he was actually about to do. 

_Oh God._

He stared at the screen, hovering his mouse over the “Categories: Gay” tab.

As someone who had exclusively dated women, it had literally never occurred to him to watch gay porn before. He had always just acknowledged it’s existence and skipped past it, like the raisins in trail mix or orange M&M’s. It wasn’t that Ryan had, like, an _issue_ with it or anything, but because he was attracted to women and had assumed that that was the extent of his romantic and sexual repertoire. He supposed that Shane was a living example of having your cake and eating it too.

Gay porn, though. Big step for a guy who until today had only ever had a crush on a man in an abstract way. It felt important, pressing that button. It felt like an admission that something had changed. It felt scary.

He couldn’t do it. He sighed, shoving his laptop off his knees and slouching back onto the bed. 

How could he, a guy, be in love with Shane, another guy, and want him in - in _that_ way, but not be able to watch gay porn?

He rolled his eyes at himself. 

“ _You’re being ridiculous,_ ” said the helpful rational voice in his head. “ _How do you know you won’t like it if you don’t try? It’s research. You need to let go of all the stupid shit in your head that says it’s wrong for you to watch it. You’re attracted to a man. You need to face that reality and get with the program before he moves on._ ” 

Ryan squeezed his eyes shut for a second before determinedly pulling his laptop back onto his knees, quickly pressing the tab and - _hello. That’s a lot of penis._

Ryan did his best to force the locker room mentality out of his head before scrolling through, looking for the things he normally looked for in porn. He was a video editor at heart, so good quality picture and audio was a must, thank you very much. 

He came across one that looked manageable, a HD video with a thumbnail of a tall lanky ginger guy making out with a shorter, stockier blond. It was entitled “Tanner Fucks Cole Hard”. _Brevity is the soul of wit, I guess._

He clicked on it, and there was some astoundingly bad acting about a burst water pipe and _there’s water all over the floor, bro, but I can’t pay for a plumber_ , followed by _well maybe you could figure out some other way to pay me_ et cetera. It was pretty cringe, but the two in the video seemed to genuinely be attracted to one another as the ginger one, _Tanner_ , pushed the blond up against the wall and made out with him, rubbing his hand over Cole’s bulge. 

Ryan shifted as Tanner lowered his head, biting at Cole’s neck and unzipping his jeans. When Tanner was on his knees, throating Cole’s dick like a champ, Ryan felt himself twitch inside his shorts, his dick beginning to harden just a little, a knot of arousal blooming in his stomach as Cole threw his head back into the wall, mouth catching on a groan. _That looked like it felt really good. Could I do that to - to Shane? Could I suck his dick that good and get that reaction?_

Ryan was surprised when a wave of arousal, thick and heavy washed over him and his dick was almost at full mast, the grunting and groaning and _masculine_ sounds coming from his laptop doing nothing to dampen his arousal. When Cole dropped to his knees to take Tanner’s dick into his mouth, Ryan paid attention, his own mouth falling open and a hand creeping from his side into his shorts to palm at himself. He was hard now, fully hard as he watched the man hum around cock, Tanner groaning and placing a hand on the back of Cole’s head, using it as leverage to fuck in and out of his mouth and _oh God._

Ryan could imagine it, could imagine himself on his knees, shoving Shane up against the wall and dipping his head down to lick a stripe up his dick, Shane’s glazed over expression so fucking hot as Ryan sucked at him, feeling Shane’s hand light but dominating on the back of his head as he moved, pulling hard flesh between his lips and -

Ryan groaned, his hand working his dick in earnest because it felt fucking good, half an eye trained on the video and the rest of his attention on his fantasy, imagining Shane rubbing him through his shorts and asking him in that lilting voice if he was _ready_. His stomach jumped, cock twitching in his hand as he watched the pair on screen move, and then - and then the blond was getting two long fingers shoved up his asshole, seeming to enjoy it _immensely_.

Ryan stopped jerking himself, feeling like the air had been punched out of his lungs. He’d known about how gay sex worked, obviously, he’d known and had recognised on some level that maybe he’d do it himself but - but he wasn’t expecting to be _confronted_ with it.

Could he...? 

Cole seemed to be having a good time. Lots of people enjoyed having fingers up their asses. Maybe Ryan could jump on the ass play wagon? _Would Shane want that? ...Would Shane like him like that?_ He glanced at his bedside table where he kept his good lube for special jerk-off sessions. Making a split-second decision, Ryan shoved his laptop onto the bed and tilted the screen down, fishing his lube out of the drawer and lying down so that he could see the screen. He coated two fingers, watching Tanner twist his wrist to rotate his fingers inside Cole on the outstroke, who was thrashing about on the bed and moaning. Ryan’s dick felt painfully hard. 

“ _In for a penny,_ ” he thought, hitching his legs up and bringing his hand between them, letting the desperate sounds coming from his laptop spur him on. He circled his hole lightly, jumping at the alien touch and how _sensitive_ he was, before pressing on and doing it again, spreading lube around and - gently - pressing the tip of one finger in. 

Ryan let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. It was strange, sure, but not as monumental, nor painful, as he thought it would be. He shifted, eyes trained on the scene as he moved his finger, pushing in and out of the tight space until he was in to the second knuckle, the pressure and tightness feeling kind of - pleasurable?

Ryan drew out, adding more lube before pressing back in, the hazy world of arousal coming back to him and his breathing growing a little heavier as he folded himself tighter, knowing if he could just get the right angle he could press all the way in and - _Oh God,_ it was good, the slick press and slide of his finger stoking the pressure in his belly and his dick standing to attention.

Ryan shifted, barely noticing that he had closed his eyes, the video he was no longer watching still playing on his laptop. The sounds, though. Ryan was listening to the irrevocably _male_ sounds coming from the laptop and it was _good_ , the cut off moans and high whines and the slap of skin on skin. It wasn’t Shane, though. Ryan could imagine him now, could see him with the brow screwed up tight in pleasure, working his fingers into Ryan and smiling that crooked smile. Ryan choked a little.

Ryan curled his finger, hooking it on his rim when he drew it out and shuddering, back arching. He scrambled to get more lube on his fingers before he put them back into position, took a deep breath, and pressed in with two. 

The stretch was immediately tighter - there was a dull ache as Ryan’s body was forced to accommodate, but he was drunk on that feeling of hot, tight pleasure and he was pretty sure he could glance his prostate with two. _He could stretch himself open with two, could imagine Shane stretching him open with two._ He arched his back, hand working, a quiet “ _fuck_ ” falling from his mouth. 

He knew immediately when he’d hit his prostate, because his back was bowing off the bed and he honest-to-God _whined_. He was spurred on, wound up so tight, groaning as he pressed another finger to his entrance, just a tease of pressure that he knew Shane could give him, knew Shane would open him up so sweetly and so fucking good, would use those long fingers to stroke him open from the inside and then pick up his legs, sliding that big cock into him in rough strokes, mercilessly pushing him open and fucking him so good and hard, and Ryan would have no choice but to go with it, to arch his back and -

Ryan shoved a third finger in, the heat and pressure making him shake as he quickly got his left hand around his dick, barely gripping on.

“Oh - oh fuck, oh god,” he chanted, hand flying over his dick and his fingers working him so good and - a glancing blow off his prostate, a twist around the head of his dick, and Ryan was coming, curled inwards, the force of it rocking him to the core as he painted white stripes over himself, clenching around his own fingers, shaking apart.

When it was over, Ryan felt the earth doing that thing where it shifts on its axis to accommodate the new information in one’s life. In this case, it was Ryan learning that he not only liked to take it up the ass, but liked to do so to thoughts of his male coworker and best friend. _Huh._

He was lying spent on his duvet covers, the video long finished by now. He closed his laptop with his foot, staring at the ceiling. 

Operation: Am I Attracted To Men In That Way was a success, but now Ryan had to launch Operation: Get Shane To Be My Boyfriend, and he had the feeling it might be slightly harder to get that one off the ground. 

Ryan felt tacky come beginning to dry on his abdomen and sighed, hauling himself into the shower and absent-mindedly cleaning himself as he thought about it. Should he bring Shane a _gift_? Flowers? Flowers said “I have romantic intentions”, right? 

Hmm, didn’t feel right. 

Ryan supposed he could just march into the office and kiss him, but that was very forward and highly unprofessional, even by Buzzfeed standards. 

Ryan started. He could - he could _make_ Shane something. Was it cheesy? Yeah, definitely, but it said he cared. It said he was sorry for being weird and also, _if you wouldn’t mind, Shane, I’d love for the two of us to run through meadows together and make out all the time, hope that’s cool with you!_

It was the only decent idea he’d had, and he was going to make it work. 

Once he was out of the shower, he grinned as the thought came to him. He knew _exactly_ what he was going to make Shane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was difficult to write! It only sort of flowed when Ryan was thinking about Shane, lmao. Anyway, hope you enjoyed!!! 
> 
> They bone in the next chapter if that’s what you’ve been waiting for.
> 
> Also pls give me feedback!!


	4. I Know It Seems Strange (But Things, They Change)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s the chapter where they bone!!! They do the sex!!! Hope you’re excited!!! (If this isn’t your gig, sorry)
> 
> This is a monster of a chapter, lmao. Considered splitting it up into two parts before I realised how mean that was. Sorry it took a few extra days to finish. Hope you enjoy!

The next morning, a Friday, Ryan got into the office five minutes late. He was perilously balancing two boxes in one hand and two coffees in the other, trying desperately to navigate his way through the Buzzfeed offices without dropping anything. Now that his whole weird thing of coming to terms with being attracted to men was over, Ryan obviously having chosen to speed-run the whole experience, he was ready to romance the _shit_ outta Shane. It was gonna go perfectly, he was sure. 

He winced, knowing he was blatantly lying to himself, because his hands were shaking he was so nervous and _what if I read the whole situation wrong, what if Shane doesn’t like me and the kiss really was a joke and we have to not work with each other because I ruined everything?_

So yeah. It wasn’t going _fabulously_ in Ryan’s head, but he was coping. Either way, he knew he couldn’t go on working with Shane like nothing was different, like he hadn’t changed. He had to tell him, had to - to ask him out. _God._

Ryan stood outside the door to their office for a moment when he reached it, a swirling mass of hot anxiety roiling in his stomach. It was how he felt when he was about to walk into a ghost house, it was how he felt every time something spooky touched him or spoke or did anything in his vicinity. Normally in those times, Shane was there, cracking jokes and diffusing the fear and unwinding Ryan like the scared little ball of string he was. Normally Shane was an oasis in the anxiety desert, but now he was a whole _dune_ , and - okay, maybe Ryan was taking the metaphor a tad too far. 

“ _Stop stalling.”_ He told himself quietly, knocking the door open with his free elbow and clattering inside. Shane looked up from the desk, a sleepy crease in the middle of his brow. Ryan stopped for a second.

 _God, you're so attractive. How did I not notice before? How did I not know how badly I’m gone on you?_

“Hey,” Shane croaked out, looking curiously at the many things Ryan was juggling. 

“Hey,” Ryan said, a little breathless as he put the coffees and boxes on the table, dumping his bag on the floor before sitting down next to Shane. 

“What’s all this?” Shane asked. His voice was amused but cautious, clearly still unsure where they stood.

Ryan took a breath. _Crunch time._

“It’s for you.” Ryan said, smiling and handing Shane his coffee just the way he liked it, extra foam and a shot of caramel.

Shane smiled back tentatively.

“Thanks man, I could do with coffee. Didn’t sleep much last night.” 

“Well,” said Ryan, picking up the two boxes and setting them on his lap, “I’ve got the sugar rush of a lifetime coming your way, so I hope you’re excited.”

Shane paused mid-sip.

“What do you mean?”

Ryan steeled himself. 

“I made you something. I baked something, I mean. For you.” 

Shane’s eyebrows shot up somewhere around his hairline. 

“You did what now? Ryan, you don’t bake.” 

Ryan coughed a little.

“Well, uh, I do now. I do for you.” 

Shane was looking at him now, a truly puzzled expression on his face. 

“For me?” 

“Yeah, uh,” Ryan thrust the boxes in his lap towards Shane. He didn’t fail to notice the way Shane’s fingers brushed his as he gingerly took the boxes. “Made them for you, big guy.” 

Shane looked amused, devastatingly soft in the morning light. He shot Ryan a crooked grin before setting his coffee on the counter, opening the lid on one of the boxes. 

There was a stretch of time where Shane just stared down into the box, mouth slightly open, trying to rationalise the new world where Ryan looked at him so softly and brought him things and - and baked him _treats_.

Shane’s voice was awestruck when he said “Ryan, are these _apple taters_?” 

Ryan ducked his head, desperately hoping his cheeks weren’t too red, because if he looked as anxious as he felt someone would be calling an ambulance.

“Yeah, they are. I watched the video we made to make them.”

Shane looked up at him slowly. 

“You, Ryan Bergara, of your own free will, made a relatively complex dessert for me?”

Ryan swallowed. “Uh huh.” 

Shane looked oddly appalled, like he couldn’t figure out what was going on but was pleased with whatever it was. His face finally settled into the softest smile ever, beaming at Ryan so hard his cheeks were scrunched up, and he let out a short laugh, throwing one of the apple taters into his mouth. Ryan did his best not to choke on how beautiful he looked.

“These are really good, Ryan. Why did you make them for me?” 

Shane’s voice lingered a little on the “for me”, if Ryan wasn’t mistaken. 

Ryan flapped a hand vaguely. “Well, you know, yesterday I was a little... I just got a little weird, and uh, I did some thinking and decided, you know, I was being dumb. So I thought I’d make these.” 

Shane was looking at him softly, hands clutched tight around the boxes. Ryan ploughed on, babbling, unable to look at Shane looking at him like _that_ without just straight up launching himself at the guy.

“I actually had to go to the store three times, first to get the stuff and then second because I forgot vanilla, and then a third time because I fucked the first batch up and -”

Ryan didn’t get to finish, because in one swift move Shane had put the boxes aside, scooted his chair over to Ryan, and was kissing him.

Ryan’s brain short-circuited briefly, because he hadn’t even got to the part where he told Shane the apple taters were a proviso romantic endeavour, but it seemed Shane had got the message anyway. Shane was kissing him, really _kissing him_ , and Ryan elected to stop thinking and get with the program before Shane changed his mind. 

Ryan closed his eyes, a tentative hand coming up to rest on Shane’s shoulder. He was kissing Ryan so fucking sweetly, so _kindly_ , soft lips pressing in again and again, passion and flavour behind it just as Ryan had known it the day before, that stupid video that felt a lifetime away now. 

Shane cupped a hand to Ryan’s jaw, his other hand resting lightly on Ryan’s knee as he turned his head, changing the angle and pressing the tip of his tongue ever so gently to Ryan’s bottom lip. Ryan made the tiniest of noises, a little surprised _hmm_ before opening his mouth, sliding his tongue along the heat of Shane’s lip and - 

And _oh God_. It was so good. Ryan pushed in closer, his knees slotting in between Shane’s and one hand settling low on Shane’s waist, tilting his head and shivering a little because Shane knew how to fucking kiss. Ryan couldn’t help the little noise that slipped out of his throat again when Shane sucked his bottom lip into his mouth, and Shane seemed to _really_ like that noise, because he was gripping Ryan’s face and kissing him for all he was worth, and hey, Ryan could make more noise if that was what Shane liked. _At this point, I would do anything that Shane liked, anything at all._

Ryan clutched his hand into Shane’s shirt briefly before tucking his fingers under it, just the barest press against the bare skin of Shane’s hip, but it was so good, he was warm and soft and Ryan would take that shirt off right now if they weren’t in the office - _oh shit, they were in the office._

Ryan pulled back, Shane attempting to follow him, looking about ready to climb into his lap and _wow_ , yes, Ryan could get on board with that.

He was awestruck for a second, considering the ramifications of just pulling Shane onto his lap and having his wicked way with him, but _no_. Professional. He was _so_ professional. _Ahem._

“Shane, we can’t do this here,” said Ryan, pressing a short kiss to Shane’s lips to soften the blow. “You know we can’t do this in the office.” 

Shane shut his eyes, an annoyed huff coming out of his mouth that Ryan privately considered to be adorable. Shane stole another kiss from him, a quick but hard press of the mouth that left Ryan a little breathless, before slumping back into his own seat. 

He picked up one of Ryan’s hands, playing with his fingers casually like it wasn’t making Ryan’s heart explode in his chest. 

“I know we can’t do this here.” Said Shane, slotting their fingers together so that they were just - just holding hands, intimately, purposefully, and Ryan felt like he could get a little choked up because he was _allowed this_ now. “Doesn’t mean I don’t want to though.” 

Ryan grinned. “Me too, big guy, but I really don’t think there’s a good way to swing being caught having sex on our desk to the higher ups.” 

Shane quirked an eyebrow, his kiss-red lips forming a smile that Ryan wanted to smooch right off of him.

“That’s what we’d be doing, is it?” He said, sliding a hand onto Ryan’s knee, the tops of his fingers on his thigh. “Just straight up fucking in our office after our first kiss?” 

Ryan was trying very hard to will away the half-chub that was happening, but the presence of Shane’s hand, the presence of _Shane_ , was making that difficult. His voice was a little thready when he said “Technically, our first kiss was yesterday.” 

Shane grinned, _touché_ , his hand inching ever so slightly further up. “Do you know why I agreed to that video, Ryan?” 

Ryan blew out a breath, looking at Shane through his lashes and considering the repercussions of just dropping to his knees for Shane right now. He’d been unable to get the image of blowing Shane out of his head, and he was more desperate to try it than he was willing to admit. 

“For the comedy?” 

Shane shook his head. “That was my excuse. I agreed because I thought that it was the only opportunity I’d ever get to kiss you. I thought you’d find it funny, and I could pass it off as a joke. I guess my kisses are more honest than I am, because you saw right through me.” 

Ryan shook his head a little, swaying forward into Shane’s space. “You were so transparent. No one’s ever kissed me with so much _want_ before.” 

Shane’s expression was open, and a little devastated. “I do, you know.” He said quietly, looking down, clutching Ryan’s free hand in his like he had so many times before, but differently now. “I want you so much, I’ve wanted you for so long.” 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Ryan asked, squeezing Shane’s hand, a bolt of sadness curling into his chest at the thought of Shane pining, all alone. 

“You’d never expressed any interest in men, and I was scared of ruining everything. But the way you looked at me sometimes, Ryan, like I’d hung the moon. There were so many times where the only thing that stopped me from kissing you were the cameras.” 

Ryan swallowed, wondering how many times his face had betrayed what his brain couldn’t admit, what he had known, but had ignored.

“I’m not - Shane, I should tell you, I’ve never done this before, I’ve never felt this for, you know, a _guy_ , and -”

“It’s okay, it’s alright,” Shane said, smiling again. “We’re not exactly strangers. We’ll figure it out.” 

Ryan smiled. “Sounds good.” 

~~~~~~~~~~

Ryan would vouch for the atmosphere in the office today being better than the one yesterday, mainly because he and Shane were genuinely smiling at each other every minute and a half, but he wouldn’t exactly call it a _productive_ workplace. 

He was drifting into his own imagination every few minutes, thinking about the feeling of Shane’s hand in his, Shane’s mouth against his, the crinkling at the corners of his eyes when he smiled so wide. They shared the apple taters as they made a semblance of an attempt at working, brushing hands every time they took one a the same time and smiling. God, we’re they going to be _that_ kind of couple? That was so cringe.

Ryan slowly became aware that he hadn’t typed anything into the script he was meant to be working on in the last ten minutes. _Whoops._

Ryan pushed his laptop away from him, leaning back in his chair. _Bravery, Ryan, bravery._

“So, uh, how is this gonna work?” Ryan asked, turning his body towards Shane. 

When Shane only tilted his head questioningly, Ryan amended “How are we gonna, like, work together?” 

Shane smiled, humouring him. “The same way we always have.” 

Ryan shook his head, leaning further into Shane’s space, the thrill of it zipping through his stomach in an excited/anxious wave. 

“I mean, how am I meant to concentrate? You’re just so...” Ryan dragged his eyes down Shane’s body and back up again, lingering on the curves and sharp angles and miles upon miles of legs. “Present.” He finished, resting his chin on his hand.

Shane shook his head, rolling his eyes and scooting his chair closer to Ryan. “I thought we agreed we weren’t gonna do this in the office. Like half an hour ago.” 

Ryan leaned forward for a little peck, not missing the way Shane’s hand was curled loosely around his elbow on the table. 

“I know, I just - I just -”

Shane cut him off there, kissing him properly. He pulled back a few millimetres, with half-hooded eyes. 

“You gotta stop looking at me like you wanna get dicked down, Ryan, it’s really not making me productive.” He was grinning.

Ryan grinned right back. “Is it making you anything else?” 

He felt the amused huff of Shane’s breath across his face. “Last time I checked, buddy, you didn’t know you were attracted to men until yesterday, so I’d slow your roll there.” 

Ryan shrugged, biting his lip a little just to make Shane look at his mouth. 

“I may or may not have done some research on that front last night. And this morning.” Ryan said, recalling his jerk-off session in this morning’s shower that had ended with his forehead pressed to the tile and two fingers shoved inside himself. It had made him late.

Colour was rising on Shane’s face like a sped-up sunrise. His voice was a few notes deeper when he shifted a little closer and asked “You did _what_?”

“Oh, you know,” Ryan said, trying his best not to smirk, shifting away and pulling his laptop towards himself. “I’m a man of research. I wanted to know what I was getting myself into.” 

Ryan typed an arbitrary word into the script in the hopes that it would come across nonchalantly. When he looked over at Shane though, he hadn’t even noticed, because his eyes were glazed over and he was pink-cheeked, faraway and clearly imagining _something_. 

“Hey, in the room, buddy.” Ryan said, snapping his fingers in front of Shane’s face in private glee. 

“You’re evil,” Shane said finally, eyes focussing on him. “You’re so evil for telling me that _here_ where I can’t do anything about it, fuck you. You’re proof for the existence of demons.” 

Ryan laughed, relishing the pink on Shane’s cheeks that was beginning to bleed down his neck. _Hot and bothered, aren’t you, big guy?_

“What’s the plan for tonight?” Ryan asked sweetly, nudging Shane’s knees with his own. 

Shane shook his head, pushing a hand through his hair. 

“I’m gonna cook dinner for you even though you’re a terrible person, and then we’re gonna have a long conversation about boundaries and ethics in the work environment, and then -”

Shane leaned in a little, pressing a kiss to Ryan’s cheek. 

“Then we could maybe talk about you showing me your _research_.” 

Ryan did his best not to choke, his cheek feeling warm where Shane pressed his lips to it. 

“I think I could handle that.” Ryan said, voice low and intimate. Shane’s eyes were lowered, and he was looking at Ryan with fire behind his eyes, and Ryan’s breath felt a little caught in his throat until Shane leaned back abruptly, putting a good foot of space between their chairs. 

He wagged a finger at Ryan. “I am going to stay here, away from your - your _ministrations_ , and we are going to get on with our work, and not talk about how my dick is about to explode.” 

Ryan’s eyes dropped like a stone to Shane’s crotch, but Shane angled his body away from him. “I’m not kissing you for the rest of today, Ryan, you’re too - you’re so -” he flapped his hand vaguely, trying not to smile. “It will not lead to productive workplace things.” 

Ryan chuckled, turning back to his own laptop. “Whatever you say, big guy.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~ 

By the end of the day, Shane had managed to give Ryan only two illegal kisses, which he counted as a success against Ryan’s wiles. 

Ryan, on the other hand, was finding the whole thing so funny that his mouth hurt from smiling. 

When 5pm finally rolled around, Shane began throwing his stuff into his bag with the type of haste that Ryan had never seen from the guy.

“Eager to get going, big guy?” Ryan asked, putting his own stuff away slowly just to piss Shane off. 

Shane whirled on him, hair sticking up at all angles from constantly rubbing his hand through it. 

“You're unbelievable, you know that? You’ve been - been _tempting_ me all day, when I literally can’t do anything about it. Yeah, I’m eager to get home, Ryan, so I can start cooking a meal for your ungrateful ass and then I can get you into my bed - and trust me, buddy, we’ll see who’s _frustrated_ then.” 

With that, Shane threw the last of his stuff into his bag, and Ryan felt maybe _slightly_ bad about being quite so forward, but mostly thrilled that Shane was this passionate. He was going to speak, but Shane cut him off.

“And you know what?” Shane said, stepping into Ryan’s space, forcing him to lean back against the desk. “I don’t mind you knowing how affected I am. I’ve wanted you for years, Ryan, I’ve been embarrassingly - I’ve been gone on you for so long, so now that you know and you want me back, yeah, I’m a little excited. Sue me.” 

Shane’s face was close to his, hair wild and eyes burning with low-level frustration. Ryan genuinely couldn’t help himself when he kissed him, couldn’t stop himself from leaning in and pressing his mouth to Shane’s, feeling all the tension and fight go out of Shane’s body as his hands came up to rest on Ryan’s hips, pushing him a little harder into the desk and tentatively resting their bodies together and - _oh_. That was _delicious_ , the full warm length of Shane’s body pressed down his front, hip to chest. 

Ryan felt like he could quite happily drown in this. 

When Shane pulled back a few centimetres, smiling dazedly, Ryan brought his arms up to rest against Shane’s shoulders, shocked at how naturally it came to him. Ryan pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“I know you’ve wanted this for far longer than I even knew it was a possibility, Shane. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have had so much fun teasing you.” 

Shane smiled, tucking his thumbs just slightly under the waistband of Ryan’s jeans. 

“Nah, it’s okay. You’re Ryan - it’s what you would do.” 

Ryan grinned, shifting his hips just a little against Shane’s because he was a mean bastard at heart. 

Shane instantly recoiled, rolling his eyes and shaking his head, taking a step back. “Fuck you, we aren’t doing this here. Get your shit together and go home. Come to mine at 7pm, you jackass.” 

Ryan nodded, and Shane grabbed his stuff before determinedly walking out the door. Ryan blew out a breath, willing his second half-chub of the day down. No need to scandalise the Uber driver.

~~~~~~~~~~

Knocking on Shane’s door had never felt so meaningful.

He shifted, a little bead of anxiety sweat rolling down his back as he rapped his knuckles twice against the wood. He was wearing the tight blue and white shirt that pulled across his biceps, that somewhere, subconsciously, he’d known Shane liked. He wasn’t sure how his brain had known that before, had taken the signals that Shane must have been giving off and understood them, without letting Ryan know. It was stupid, is what it was, because who looks at a purely platonic friend like Shane looked at Ryan? Who threw themselves willingly into anything and everything no matter how terrifying for the sake of another person like Ryan did for Shane? 

Ryan knew it _now_. With the privilege of hindsight, Ryan could see a lot of things in his relationship with Shane that hadn’t been under the strict guise of friendship. _The handholding_ , he supposed, _should have been a big hint_. For some reason, Shane always took his hand. At first, it had only been in shoots, and for an ill-advised amateur séance they were attempting to pull off for Unsolved. Ryan could still feel that first grip of huge, calloused hands ghosting over his own. 

However, on their next location, it had been towards the end of the shoot and they were all exhausted, jet lag and the fact that it was 4am really catching up to them. When they were finally done for the night, Shane had taken his hand briefly to pull him out of the room, and had held it until they got to the car. At the time, Ryan had just assumed it was to hurry him along, even though he could see now that Shane hadn’t been hurrying him at all. He had slowed down to Ryan’s pace, and they had practically ambled back to the car together. 

Then, Ryan remembered, then it started spreading to outside of Unsolved. There would be no cameras around, and Shane would casually take Ryan’s hand to pull them out of their office to get coffee. He had taken his hand only last week when they were walking into a bar with their friends, and Ryan had thought nothing of it, just curled his hand around Shane’s absentmindedly and carried on. Ryan’s hand tingled as he remembered, and oh fuck, Shane had been _flirting_. This whole time, the cheeky bastard, for years he had been _flirting_ , and Ryan hadn’t known. Or, he’d just thought it was normal to not date anyone else because you were subconsciously preoccupied with your platonic best friend who looked at you like you were the most beautiful thing they’d ever seen. _Huh. And Shane said he didn't know how to flirt._

Saying it now, it sounded stupid and obvious, but Ryan was a dumbass at heart and apparently completely oblivious, so he took it as a miracle that he and Shane had managed to make it here at all.

Ryan was pulled from his reverie by Shane opening the door, startled to realise that his entire contemplation on Shane’s lowkey flirting over the years and Ryan’s embarrassing ignorance of it had taken place in the thirty seconds between knocking on the door and Shane opening it. 

Before Ryan could open his mouth, Shane was smiling, taking him by the hand and pulling him into the apartment, shutting the door. Ryan looked down at their joined hands and thought back to how easily Shane had taken his today in the office, playing with his fingers like he’d probably wanted to for years. 

“Hey,” Shane said. He was wearing an honest-to-God Kiss The Cook apron, which Ryan privately found hilarious, and instead of trying to voice the confusing jumble of thoughts trying to tumble out of his mouth, Ryan elected to just do as the apron told him.

He leaned up onto the balls of his feet, wrapping his arms around Shane’s neck and connecting their mouths with a surprised “ _hmph!_ ” from Shane. It took all of two seconds for Shane to start kissing him back though, his hands sliding over Ryan’s ribs and tracing down, settling on his waist and pulling their bodies closer together. Ryan arched his back, curving his body around Shane’s and tracing his tongue lightly over Shane’s bottom lip. He tasted like tomatoes and herbs. 

As Ryan was letting Shane’s tongue get acquainted with his teeth, he vaguely registered one of Shane’s hands coming up to lay a palm on his jaw, thumb curving over his cheekbone and fingers just underneath his ear. Ryan could do this _forever_ , he realised, he could wrap himself around Shane and never let go, dip his tongue into Shane’s mouth over and over and try to get across in the curve of his spine, the heat of his breath, the fervour of his being that he was utterly, utterly in love with him.

Shane separated their mouths slowly, skin rasping against lips. He cleared his throat slightly, only seeming willing to be a few inches away from Ryan, still wrapped around him. 

“As much as I enjoyed that greeting and would prefer for that to be how we say hello to one another from now on, the lasagna’s gonna burn if we stay here much longer.” Shane was grinning, stroking his thumb along Ryan’s cheekbone. 

Ryan smiled, feeling tense and antsy and just so fucking _horny_ that he could crawl out of his own skin. 

“Alright big guy, let’s go.”

Shane flashed him an easy smile, grabbing one of Ryan’s hands from his shoulders and leading him into the kitchen. Ryan looked at their joined hands again. _God, I should have known._

It smelled really fucking good, actually, and Ryan couldn’t believe he got to be his usual asshole self to Shane, who’d seen him at his worst, his most unattractive, his most frightened, and who liked him anyway. And made him _lasagna_.

“Is now a bad time for a Garfield joke?” Ryan asked as Shane handed him a plate. There was even _garlic bread_.

“Believe it or not, Ryan, it’s always a bad time for a Garfield joke.” Shane said, trying not to smile. They sat down on opposite sides of Shane’s tiny kitchen island, knocking knees underneath it. Ryan propped a foot against the bottom bar of Shane’s stool. 

“You know,” said Shane, pouring them a glass of red wine each, “I agonised over what to make for you. I’ve never cared so much about a meal in my life, it was stressful.” 

Ryan smiled. “You pulled it out the bag though, this looks good as fuck.”

Shane grinned. “I knew you liked Italian, and I got this incredible vintage wine to go with it.” 

He turned the bottle around, showing Ryan the one-grade-above-grocery-store-quality label that Ryan knew cost about $9. He picked up the bottle, sniffing.

“Ah yes, 2019, an excellent growing year.” 

Shane snorted, picking up his knife and fork. 

“Shut up. I nearly put a candle between us before I realised how cringe that is.” 

Ryan smiled, poking Shane’s arm across the counter. “Thank you, big guy. This is great.” 

Shane smiled and they dug in, bickering and ribbing each other the way they always did when they ate together, the romantic setting of Shane’s dimmed kitchen lights doing nothing to change the dynamic of back-and-forth insults and deeply layered affection.

It was genuinely good too, thank God, because Ryan couldn’t lie to Shane for shit, so if he hadn’t liked it, Shane would know. 

They never did get around having that very serious conversation about boundaries and ethics in the workplace, because Ryan was clearing their plates in the sink as Shane tidied up when he felt Shane step up behind him and - ever so gently - rest his chin on Ryan’s shoulder. 

“Is this cringe?” Shane asked quietly, amused as he watched Ryan’s hands under soapy water. 

“Definitely.” Said Ryan, smiling, “But it’s kinda nice. Don’t go anywhere until I figure out whether I like it or not. Might take a while.” 

Shane let out a huff of laughter that grazed Ryan’s cheek, stepping a little closer to place his hands gently on Ryan’s hips. He was apparently just resting them there, which was extremely rude in Ryan’s opinion because he was trying to do something productive like wash-up, but he was having a hard time breathing normally with all 6’4” of Shane cozying all up on his back. He was just - Shane was so _present_ , so _much_ , and whilst Ryan knew he was a laid-back guy he didn’t do anything without purpose, and never lightly. Ryan quietly realised that Shane loved as he did everything else - strongly, fervently, but with the sort of feigned casual demeanour that belied how deeply he cared. He was an ocean, deep blue, endlessly shifting and full of secrets but clear all the way down if you only bothered to swim, and hold your breath.

Which, speaking of, Ryan was holding his breath now, he realised. He was struggling a little to act normal with Shane’s hands placed so effortlessly on his hips, the casual press of Shane’s chin into his shoulder and the almost _nonchalant_ expanse of Shane’s front pressed to a few points of Ryan’s back. 

“You okay there, Ry-Guy?” Shane asked sweetly as Ryan fumbled a fork in the water, dropping it with a dull clink. 

“‘M fine. Why, uh, why wouldn’t I be?” Ryan asked, not meaning for his voice to have jumped up _quite_ so many notes, but whatever. 

Shane shuffled a little closer, and Ryan cursed internally. 

“Dunno, you just seem a little -” Shane was leaning in, Ryan realised, and pressing the softest of kisses to the join of Ryan’s jaw, “- _distracted_.” 

Ryan put the last of the washed cutlery on the draining board, unplugging the sink decisively and whirling around in the loop of Shane’s grip, his hands skating over his back and front until Ryan was facing him. 

“Weren’t we meant to be having a serious conversation about working together?” 

Shane shrugged, a devilish grin curling into his features.

“We’ve got the whole weekend to talk about that. I can think of something a little more interesting to occupy us in the meantime.” 

His voice was pitched low, and Ryan tried desperately not to lean into Shane’s particular brand of not-flirting-flirting, but it was particularly difficult when he remembered that really, he’d been doing it for years. 

“Like wiping down the counters?” Ryan asked, trying to sound innocent and missing the mark by a mile. 

“Excellent suggestion.” Shane said, and that was all the warning Ryan got before he was being hoisted - bodily _hoisted_ onto the counter on their left, so that he was perched on the edge of the counter facing Shane. Ryan tried to ignore just how instinctively his legs parted for Shane to stand in between them, and _huh_. They were at eye-level now. _How interesting._

Shane was looking at him, standing in the V of Ryan’s thighs and from where Ryan was sitting, this was a pretty nice view. He decided he wouldn’t mind doing this more often, especially as Shane’s brain appeared to be malfunctioning.

“Nice lift, big guy.” Said Ryan, just about managing to sound casual. “Did you put me up here just to stare at me?”

Shane shook his head, hands slipping carefully onto Ryan’s thighs and drawing him a little closer, but he was still so hesitant. Ryan cocked his head, face still a few inches from Shane’s.

“It’s okay if you’re having second thoughts, buddy, we don’t have to -”

Shane was shaking his head so violently that Ryan was worried he was going to lose a tooth, so he stopped talking. 

“It’s not that, believe me,” said Shane, voice coming out a little throaty. “Its not that. It’s just that now I’ve got you in front of me, I don’t know what to do with you. I’ve imagined, I mean - I’ve thought about literally everything.” There was a thread of desperation winding into his voice.

Ryan swallowed, feeling a little hot under the collar as he thought about all the nights Shane must have spent alone in bed, thinking about Ryan, picturing them together, his big hand drifting down under the covers - 

Ryan cleared his throat, eyes a little hooded as he looked at Shane. Slowly, and ever so slightly, he let his legs slip open a little wider on the counter. 

Shane’s hands were back on him instantly, running up his thighs and thumbs slipping into the grooves where hip met thigh, jerking him closer until his ass was barely on the countertop anymore, his knees bracketing Shane’s waist. 

Shane looked at him for all of two seconds, heat in his eyes like flame and then they were kissing, one of Shane’s arms wrapping around Ryan’s waist and the other digging into his hip, fingers curving around so they were just, sort of, barely on Ryan’s ass.

Ryan shifted, edging forward, curling one hand into the front of Shane’s shirt and kissing back for all he was worth. It was so - it was just so _sweet_ , so disarmingly and shockingly sweet that Ryan was reeling, hooking his ankles behind Shane’s back in an effort to just _get him closer_.

Shane’s arm was vice-like around his lower back, but that was just fine and dandy with Ryan because there was literally nowhere else on planet Earth that he would rather be than right where he was. He felt a little frantic, a little drunk on the feeling, and he couldn’t stop himself from turning the kiss filthy, biting none too gently on Shane’s bottom lip just to watch the man squirm. 

Shane seemed to really like that, because next thing Ryan knew there was a large hand being shoved down the back of his jeans, and _oh fuck, that was Shane’s hand on his bare ass_. 

Ryan opened his mouth in surprise, disrupting the kiss. 

“Too much?” Shane said, pulling back a little and breathing heavy, sounding a little wrecked. 

“No, I’m good, I’m good, _come back here,_ ” Ryan was scrabbling at Shane’s shoulders, pulling him until he laughed and acquiesced, stepping back to where Ryan wanted him most - right between his thighs.

Shane gave Ryan’s ass a cursory squeeze, and Ryan was doing mental kick-flips imagining Shane’s long fingers stuffed inside him. He was so indecisive, kept flipping between what he wanted to do to Shane and what he wanted Shane to do to him. Then he suddenly lost the ability to think at all, because Shane’s mouth had dropped to his neck and he was being _pulled closer by the hand on his ass_. 

Shane was mouthing at his pulse point, and Ryan barely had time to get out a breathy moan before Shane was sucking his neck, probably leaving a mean-looking hickey that Ryan could not care less about.

Shane definitely felt it when Ryan’s legs tightened around his waist, because he leaned back the tiniest amount to speak, his lips brushing Ryan’s neck on every word as he murmured “You like me kissing your neck, huh?” 

Ryan was maybe losing his mind a little at how rough Shane’s voice was, deep and just - Ryan’s cringed to use the word, but fuck it, _sexy_ , Shane had a sexy voice if he’d ever heard one.

Shane bit down a little, right at the base of his neck, and Ryan couldn’t help his head falling back, exposing his throat in what he knew was a blatant display of “ _yes, more, please“_. Shane bit down a little harder, his other hand coming down to grip Ryan’s ass like a magnet. 

“Fuck, you _really_ like it, don’t you?” Shane said, drawing back a little and staring at Ryan’s face, flushed as red as anything and eyes no less glazed. 

Ryan had both hands gripped into Shane’s shirt, and in lieu of answering Shane’s question he just decided to tug his shirt over his head, waiting until Shane had briefly managed to unglue his hands from Ryan’s ass before yanking it off over his arms.

It’s wasn’t like Ryan had never seen Shane bare-chested before, but there was something about Ryan being the one to remove his shirt, the one to trace a hand heavily over the base of his throat, fingers catching on collarbones, well - it was _different_.

Shane was looking at him with a heavy gaze, and Ryan removed his hand from Shane’s chest long enough to begin unbuttoning his own shirt. Shane’s eyes dropped low and hungry to the expanse of revealed skin, and Ryan felt like he might catch on fire if they weren’t careful. As soon as his shirt was unbuttoned, Shane’s hands were on him, sliding up over his stomach to his shoulders, fingers shoving the fabric of his shirt off, and _this - this_ , Ryan realised, _was the point of no return_. Staring at each other, shirtless in Shane’s kitchen, Ryan could tell that this was that moment that people talk about where the two of you look at each other and finally decide if you’re gonna make a go of it. 

“We doing this?” Shane asked quietly, his hands wrapped around Ryan’s shoulders. 

“ _Yes._ ” Ryan said, painfully hard in his jeans and wanting very much to be touched right about now. Also the relationship thing too, he was down for that. 

A quick glance down at Shane’s chinos revealed much of the same problem, and _holy fuck_ , it would be some serious poetic justice if Shane was packing. Ryan felt a jolt of hot arousal run through him, because what if Shane was proportional? What if being 6’4” finally became useful for something? 

Ryan hopped down from the counter, Shane immediately crowding his lower back into it and kissing him, and Ryan was getting the sneaking suspicion that Shane enjoyed shoving him against surfaces. They could explore that later though, because Ryan was having a hard enough time thinking coherently with Shane’s hands running all over his body and his tongue in his mouth. Ryan felt like he could quite happily drown in this and do it forever, and the bare press of Shane’s chest against his really was something to write home about, but he just couldn’t get that image out of his head from yesterday, of just dropping to his knees and trying to take Shane’s dick down his throat. Ryan’s stomach tightened with arousal, and _yeah, he had to try it, right the fuck now_.

He placed his hands on Shane’s chest, shoving him lightly and stepping with him so they were still kissing. Ryan had maybe slightly overestimated the amount of force he would need, because Shane’s back hit the opposite kitchen wall pretty hard, but Shane really didn’t seem to mind if his low grunt and continual kisses were anything to go by. Ryan couldn’t get over that feeling of Shane’s big hands just gripping him everywhere, so when one snuck down over his ass and grabbed a good handful so that Ryan was brought up onto his tiptoes, Ryan couldn’t help the surprised “ _mmf!_ ” that fell out of his mouth as their lips disconnected. 

They were both breathing hard, and Ryan’s dick was maybe about to explode with how turned on he was, but it _really_ wasn’t the time to be thinking thoughts like that if he planned to get anything done.

“You’re so hot,” Shane said, looking a little shell-shocked with his kiss-swollen lips and red cheeks and heavy breaths. 

Ryan nodded, pressing a single kiss to Shane’s lips before muttering “I want to try something, okay?” 

Shane was nodding his head before Ryan had even finished the sentence, apparently up for anything that Ryan wanted to offer him, and _hmm, wasn’t that a thought?_

Ryan grinned, listening to Shane’s head fall back against the wall as Ryan mouthed down his neck, sucking a messy hickey onto the base of his throat, feeling the muscles there jump. Ryan figured his intentions would become very clear to Shane in no time, so instead of trying to draw it out, he just dropped to his knees. 

The tile was cold and really fucking uncomfortable, but Ryan couldn’t have cared less because Shane’s eyes were on him like a brand, pupils blown and mouth open. 

“You - God knows I want you to, Ryan, but you really don’t have to, don’t feel like -”

Shane was stuttering, and Ryan couldn’t help the sharp zip of power that ran down his spine at reducing Shane, the eloquent one, to a blabbering mess without even properly touching him yet. 

“I want to, Shane, so bad, I’ve been thinking about it and can’t get it out of my head - can I? Can I suck your dick?” Okay, so Ryan wasn’t too strong on the verbalisation front right now either, cool.

“ _Yes,_ yeah, please, just take it slow, and - _uh_.”

Shane had lost the ability to speak coherently apparently, likely because as soon as he’d said yes Ryan had unbuckled his belt, dragged his chinos down to mid-thigh, and had begun mouthing at his erection through the cloth of his underwear. 

“Oh.” Shane breathed out, one hand coming up to grip into his own hair as Ryan mouthed at the wet head of his dick, expanding the already sizeable wet spot on the front of his underwear, and _oh God_. This was just through the fabric, what was going to happen when Ryan ended up getting his apparently extremely talented mouth on Shane’s actual dick? How was he meant to _survive_?

“You look so good,” Shane managed to get out, and then Ryan was looking up at him, eyes dark and pupils blown and he just looked _hungry_ , so hungry that Shane’s breath caught a little in his throat. 

Ryan wrapped his fingers around the waist band of Shane’s underwear, pulling them down and - and _holy shit_. 

It had felt big when Ryan had mouthed at it through Shane’s underwear, but seeing it in the flesh -

“Holy shit, Shane.” Ryan said, mouth drying up a little at the thought of Shane sliding that into him, inch by inch, filling him up to utter satisfaction. 

“What is that, eight inches?” 

Shane laughed, one hand tangled into his own hair, looking utterly wrecked. 

“Just under, yeah. Don’t worry, I’m not expecting you to be a master or anything - oh _fuck_.” 

Ryan had apparently lost all self-control, because he had been planning on letting Shane finish talking and maybe discussing the size of his cock a bit more, but instead he had leant forward and wrapped his hand around the base of Shane’s dick, sucking the head into his mouth. 

He closed his eyes, running his tongue around the head experimentally, tasting salt and skin and not much else. The feeling was heady though, finally getting Shane’s dick into his mouth after all that time wanting it and - yeah. Ryan got it now. He got the appeal, he understood why people liked this so much because it was so completely attention-grabbing, taking up all of his brain-space with the intimate flavour of skin and the evidence of what he was doing to Shane, how badly he was affecting him, right between his teeth.

Ryan moved his tongue under the head, shoving his mouth down a few more inches so that maybe half of Shane’s dick was in his mouth. The head was pressing at the back of his throat, not enough to trigger his gag reflex yet, so Ryan gave an experimental suck.

“ _Oh fuck_ ,” he heard from above him. He opened his eyes, looking up at Shane who looked wrecked, the hand that wasn’t tugging at his own hair fisted and pressed into the wall. He was almost comically still, and Ryan appreciated that he was desperately trying not to move, but Ryan could feel that mean bastard streak coming back. He sucked again, harder this time, drawing his lips back a little and forward again, moving his mouth up and down his dick and gripping at the base, tongue curling around the head. Shane slammed his head back into the wall, practically whining, and Ryan was suddenly struck with that image from the porn yesterday of that guy’s big hand on the back of the other guy’s head, guiding him.

Without words, because there was too much cock in his mouth to speak and Ryan didn’t feel like rectifying that, he lifted his hand up to Shane, gesturing for the hand that was currently buried in Shane’s hair. Shane seemed confused, but gave him his hand anyway, and it wasn’t until Ryan placed it on the back of his own head that Shane seemed to get it. 

And - and _fuck_ , Shane had a wicked grin on his face, because he was instantly curling a hand into Ryan’s hair and using it as leverage, fucking his cock in and out of Ryan’s mouth in tiny, tiny thrusts that nonetheless felt like fire to Ryan, because _God_. That feeling of being controlled, owned, Shane using his mouth exactly how he wanted it was really doing it for Ryan apparently. He dropped his hand from Shane’s dick, so content to just let Shane fuck shallowly into his mouth and suck along the way, feeling salty precome drag onto his tongue with every pass and the ever-present pressure of Shane’s dick at the back of his throat making his head spin. 

Ryan was sprawled on his knees, and feeling a little desperate with quite how much he _liked_ this, the use of his mouth for Shane’s own purpose and how Shane seemed to be falling apart with it, mouth open and cheeks bright red, staring at Ryan like he wanted to eat him alive. 

A bolt of arousal passed through Ryan, and he moaned a little around the cock in his mouth, not missing how Shane’s rhythm stuttered a little. At that, Ryan’s hands were scrabbling at his own lap, because his dick was trapped painfully tight into his jeans and he wanted Shane to _see him_ , to see what this was doing to him and how much he liked it. 

He managed to get his zipper undone, pushing his jeans and underwear down to just below his ass, blissfully letting his erection spring free. He was rock hard too, and Ryan whined around his mouthful as Shane caught a glimpse of him and cursed. 

“ _Fuck_ , Ryan, you’re so good, fucking look at you, taking my dick like a champ.” Shane’s voice was low and rough and Ryan honest to God shivered as it lanced through him, settling deep into his stomach. He whined again, giving Shane’s dick an extra-hard suck.

“You fucking love this, don’t you?” Shane asked, practically growling as he stared down at Ryan, drinking his fill of the sight of him utterly debauched, eyes watering and lips swollen where they were fastened around Shane’s dick, Ryan’s own cock pointing straight forward out of his barely undone jeans and his knees spread wide on the cold tile. “Look at you, so fucking gorgeous. Think you can take a little more for me?” 

Ryan realised that Shane was asking him a question and nodded frantically, managing a garbled “ _Uh huh_ ,” around his mouthful. 

“Fuck, you can, Ryan, so good. It’s gonna feel uncomfortable, just try to open your throat.” 

Ryan felt like he could maybe get off on Shane’s voice alone, and like the faithful man he was, he dutifully tried to open his throat as much as possible. He felt the head of Shane’s dick shove just a little further in, incrementally further each time, and Ryan couldn’t get over the _hotsharpwant_ that was echoing through his body. He closed his eyes, tilting his chin up and giving over control, letting Shane fuck further and further into his mouth and whining because it felt fucking good. The pressure was mounting at the back of his throat on each pass, Ryan’s airway being blocked every other second, and then he felt Shane _shove_. 

For a glorious moment Ryan could feel him, about three quarters of Shane’s dick pulsing down his throat, Shane letting out a choked breath, before his gag reflex kicked in and he pulled off coughing. 

Shane was cooing at him, petting a hand through Ryan’s hair but not letting him go, and Ryan’s felt the hazy edges of nuclear-bomb levels of arousal creeping up on him.

“You’re so good, Ryan, so good for me, such a good boy, can you do one more? Just one more, baby, please,” Shane was speaking fast, a jumble of words coming from his lips and Ryan was _reeling_ because Shane, Shane Madej, had just called him a _good boy_. 

And Ryan had liked it. He shoved forward with renewed vigour, not even waiting for Shane’s hand to guide him, taking his cock artlessly into the back of his throat and attempting to hold his breath, managing to suck for a few seconds before his gag reflex forced him to pull back off again. He wasn’t deterred though, one quick look up at Shane’s face, mouth livid red from biting his lip, blown pupils and hair going in every direction, it was enough to make him shove down again, throat fluttering around the head of Shane’s dick, choking himself brutally on it because it wasn’t _enough_ , he wanted Shane’s dick all the way down his throat, wanted to hang suspended in time waiting for Shane to decide when he could breathe or not. 

Shane was cursing above him, and though Ryan’s jaw was really starting to ache he kept going, sucking between rounds of attempted deep-throating to catch his breath before shoving his face forward again, just trying to get more more _more_.

“Jesus, Ryan, wait, you’re gonna make me come -” 

Ryan felt a hot flush start at his scalp where Shane’s hand rested, dripping though his entire body. He pulled off Shane’s dick briefly, jacking it.

“Good, want you to, you can get hard again, just want you to come in my mouth.” 

His voice was so wrecked, throat shredded, and he had no idea where this side of himself was coming from, but all he needed was Shane’s desperate moan to suck his dick back into his mouth again.

“Fuck, _fuck_ , oh God,” Shane was chanting above him, and Ryan knew he was close because he felt Shane’s dick harden impossibly further in his mouth. He moved his head back and forth, swallowing the salty precome dripping onto his tongue, feeling Shane’s hand tighten in his hair, sending a rush of fiery arousal down his body. 

“I’m gonna come, Ryan, fuck, _Ryan_ \- ”

Ryan whined around his mouthful, one last suck all it took, Shane crying out above him and sounding like the noise had been ripped out of his very soul. He was cursing as rope after rope of come was landing on Ryan’s tongue, splashing hot and salty into his mouth and the taste was honestly disgusting, but Ryan couldn’t find it within himself to care as he watched Shane fall apart above him, eyes squeezed closed and the fist he had pressed into the wall twitching and jerking with every movement of Ryan’s tongue. It was maybe the hottest thing Ryan had ever seen.

Ryan swallowed tentatively, trying not to make a face at the taste. Shane’s dick was still in his mouth, and it was possible that Ryan may have been developing a slight obsession. 

Shane was breathing like he’d just run a marathon, head tilted back against the wall, eyes staring at the ceiling and mouth slack. He slowly brought his chin down, eyes focussing on Ryan with laser-like attention as he - ever so slowly, ever so deliberately - gripped his hand a little tighter into Ryan’s hair, and pulled him off his softening cock. 

Ryan was breathing heavy, his jaw feeling abused and sore but his dick harder than ever, begging for attention from between his legs. There was something about this, something about kneeling on the floor in front of an utterly debauched Shane, shirtless and with his dick out and hard for Shane’s perusal, that Ryan really liked.

Shane hunkered down, a soft smile gracing his lips as he took Ryan’s hands, pulling him up to his feet and wincing in sympathy as Ryan’s knee joints popped.

When they were standing, Ryan feeling like he was about to vibrate out of his skin if they didn’t do something to his dick soon, Shane pressed a reverent kiss to Ryan’s abused mouth, licking a gentle swipe over his lower lip. 

“That was the hottest thing that’s ever happened to me.” Shane said bluntly, and Ryan laughed, ducking his head. “Let me take you to bed and return the favour?” 

Ryan nodded, a fresh wave of want crashing through his body as Shane took his hand, leading him into his bedroom. Ryan had been in here before, when they were getting ready to go out and once to bring Shane soup when he was sick, but never with _this_ purpose. Never to unselfconsciously walk across Shane’s carpet, shuck off his jeans and underwear and flop himself down onto Shane’s bed, dick still woefully hard and neglected. 

Shane was looking at him like he could eat him in a single bite, and Ryan shifted on his covers, watching as Shane shut the door and dimmed the lights a little, walking over to his bedside table and fishing out lube. Ryan’s mouth went a little dry at the sight of it. 

“You gonna use your fingers?” He rasped, throat still completely wrecked.

Shane looked like he was steadying himself on the edge of the bed for a brief moment. 

“If you keep saying shit like that, I’m gonna pass out from getting hard again too quickly. I'm an old man, Ryan, have pity.” 

Shane shucked off his trousers and underwear, kneeling on the bed and shuffling between Ryan’s legs.

“And yeah, I’m gonna use my fingers.” 

Ryan shuddered, spreading his legs, and Shane was kissing his neck again, ghosting his lips down the arch of Ryan’s adam’s apple before biting into the hollow of his throat, laving his tongue over the teeth marks and enjoying Ryan’s choking whine. 

Shane’s voice was a little rough when he said “I’m gonna take you apart, Ryan. I’m gonna give you what you gave me.” 

Ryan keened a little, feeling half delirious with the aching need burrowing through his body, Shane’s words only stoking the fire. When Shane wrapped a hand around his dick and started stroking it was hot relief to Ryan, he was gasping with the sheer _relief_ of something finally happening to his dick. Shane was stroking him sure and strong, just what he needed, and Ryan shifted on the covers, trying to arch his hips to get Shane to go faster. 

“Fucking beautiful.” Shane muttered, and Ryan whimpered, closing his eyes and leaning down to curl one hand around Shane’s knee, the other fisting into the bedsheet. 

Ryan was struggling a little to formulate words, but he managed to get out a breathy “I want you to fuck me, Shane, please.” 

Shane’s rhythm stuttered a little, and if Ryan wasn’t mistaken, that was Shane’s dick that twitched against his thigh. 

“Are you sure you’re ready for that? We don’t have to rush into anything -”

Shane stopped talking because Ryan was practically thrashing his head from side to side with how hard he was shaking it, delirious with the pleasure of Shane’s hand on him but wanting _more_.

“ _No_ , no, please, Shane, want your fingers, want your dick, _please_ ,” Ryan recognised how embarrassing he was being, his voice pitched highly into a whine and something he'd never heard from himself before, but he felt so delirious with the want of it, the need for Shane's skin to slap against his own, to be taken right here on a Friday night.

Shane was shushing him, petting his free hand down Ryan’s side, comforting, still gently working his dick. After a second Ryan felt himself return to his body a little, his long-denied frustration settling back into something a little more manageable.

He opened his eyes, Shane’s hand still working him so sweetly, so good. 

"Unless you don't want to," Ryan managed to croak out, fingers helplessly tightening in the bedsheets.

Shane laughed, shaking his head incredulously, and he was starting to look wrecked again. Ryan was pretty sure he could feel his dick chubbing up a little where it was resting against Ryan’s thigh. Ryan was breathing heavy, arching his hips into Shane’s touch that was so good but nowhere near enough. He knew Shane was doing it on purpose, the twisted bastard. 

“I’m gonna finger you now,” Shane said, voice a little shaky. Ryan nodded, biting his lip as Shane gently let go of his dick and pushed at his side, urging Ryan to roll over onto his front. He did.

He heard Shane draw in a breath at the expense of skin now available to him, one of his hands immediately making its way to Ryan’s ass. 

“Want you to wreck me, big guy.” Ryan said, because he had always had a way with words, head pillowed on his arms as he lifted his hips. He smiled as Shane cursed quietly, listening to the click of the lube bottle at Shane coated his fingers. 

“I’m fucking going to.” Shane muttered, and the next thing Ryan knew there was a finger pressing against his asshole, tracing in a circle and spreading lube around, pushing insistently at his hole but never quite breaching.

Ryan shifted his hips back, blowing out a breath, an anticipatory knot of want forming in his stomach and his dick pulsing where it was trapped against the bedsheets. 

“I’ve thought about this for so long,” Shane said, almost conversational as he made quick work of decimating Ryan’s self-control. “I’ve pictured sex with you for so long, but nothing my imagination came up with even gets close to the real thing.” Shane was sliding one finger into him, strong and sure, giving Ryan that delicious pressure he wanted. He let out a moan, hips shifting back into it, loving the stretch and burn and _fullness_ of it, because Shane’s fingers were longer than his. Ryan was so brutally satisfied and he wasn’t sure what kind of sex demon Shane was turning him into, because he barely knew himself like this, ass-up on someone else’s bed with a man’s fingers showing him nirvana, but with Shane he was used to anything feeling possible and for years, Ryan had just rolled with it. _No need to stop now._

“Shane,” Ryan said, his voice coming out a little broken as he gripped his hand harder into the sheets, hearing them squeak over themselves in his fist.

“Yeah, baby?” Shane’s voice was heating up, Ryan realised, he was fully aboard the have-sex-again train, and Ryan had always secretly loved it when Shane called him _baby_. Even if it was perilously close to Shane's terrible Austin Powers impression. 

“Shane, if you don’t put another finger into me, I’m going to die.” 

Shane huffed out laughter. “My blushing virgin bride,” he said dreamily, half-amused and half-wrecked as he drew his finger out, the room filling with the wet sound of Shane relubing his fingers before - _thankfully, blissfully_ \- he was pressing in with two. 

“Fuck, _yes_ ,” Ryan got out, the slick-slide feeling of Shane’s fingers pushing into him, opening him up, threatening to overwhelm him. Shane’s voice was hoarse when he spoke, and Ryan was learning that Shane was a fucking _talker_ in bed. 

“I wish you could see yourself right now, Ryan. Wish you could see what you look like, sprawled out and taking it.” 

Ryan was maybe choking just a little on that, Shane’s free hand falling heavily onto his ass cheek to pull it outwards, exposing him to the air. There’s no way in hell Shane missed the way Ryan tensed up, because in the next second he was lifting his hand up again, and Ryan was lying there half wanting, half dreading the slap of his hand down. He was discovering all kinds of things about himself today, because he had really _not_ gone into this expecting to discover that he liked being slapped on the ass, but sometimes life throws you ass-slapping curve balls like that. 

“Is that - Jesus, Ryan, are you into - you like being spanked?” Shane’s voice was thready, and Ryan was happy to conclude that his previous suspicions about whether that was Shane’s re-hardening dick pressing into his thigh were confirmed, because Shane had begun _leaking_.

The drag of Shane’s knuckles inside of him, the hand still suspended somewhere in the air above his ass, it was all becoming too much for Ryan. He didn’t know how to be sexy like this, how to be coquettish or smirking or sly when he felt like he could fly apart at the seams, so in an admittedly ill-advised attempt at dirty talk, Ryan just said what was on his mind.

“Yeah, Shane, fuck, I’m - I’m into anything, apparently, _Jesus_ , anything that you want to give me. Spank me if you want, if you like it, I want to be good for you -”

Ryan was instantly cut off by Shane’s hand slapping down onto his ass, the sharp stinging noise of it echoing round the room and making a beeline for Ryan’s stomach, the heat and tingliness of it only notching up his arousal as Shane, the bastard, ever-patient Shane dragged two fingers in and out of him like it wasn’t ruining Ryan’s life. 

“You like spanking me, big guy?” Ryan didn’t mean for it to come out so _brazen_ , but Shane’s answering slap on the other asscheek seems to fit the mood. 

“Fucking - Christ, Ryan, you’re so, just, so fucking open and willing to try and you’ll literally let me do what I want, won’t you? You just want to please me, don’t you?” 

Shane seemed a little like he was unravelling at his own words, fingers fucking Ryan harsher now, a third one coming up to press teasingly at his entrance. He spanked Ryan one more time, bracing his elbow to really fuck his fingers in and out and Ryan was just _lost_ at that, scrabbling his hands mindlessly into bedsheets and whining desperately. 

“Fucking love spanking you, love that you just take it, just like you’re going to take my cock.” 

And _oh_. Ryan felt a little light-headed because Shane’s words were dripping into him slowly, filthily, like honey and wine. It was like being drugged, the way Ryan could taste the sentences from Shane’s lips, curling his vowels and consonants onto his tongue and rolling them around his mouth, eating up the praise and the fervour, tasting heat, endlessly hungry.

Shane was working a third finger into him, and Ryan realised hazily through the fog of arousal that he was in serious danger of coming.

“Shane, I’m ready, you have to get in me, please,” Ryan was shifting, bracing, but he wasn’t prepared for Shane’s arm to duck under him, sliding between his waist and the bedsheets before _yanking_ , pulling Ryan up onto his hands and knees, and _oh_. Suddenly Shane’s fingers, which had been doing an excellent job of brushing Ryan’s prostate every time, were now pressing like heat-seeking missiles onto it on every thrust, and Ryan couldn’t contain the truly inhuman noise that fell out of him. He slumped forward, shoulders pressed to the bed and head turned to the side, ass-up as Shane railed him with three fingers, and tried desperately not to come.

Ryan really wasn’t expecting to yell, but apparently he couldn’t control his vocals like this because he was almost _shouting_ , saying something about Shane getting his dick into Ryan, he needed it, _please Shane_ -

Shane smacked his free hand down onto Ryan’s ass again. 

“I know what you need, Ryan, I’m gonna fucking give it to you.”

At that, Ryan felt Shane’s three glorious, glorious fingers being slowly pulled out, and Ryan couldn’t help but whine for the loss. Shane left hand was wrapping around his right hip, and the next thing Ryan knew he was being flipped onto his back like a pancake. 

Shane being stronger than Ryan had anticipated was maybe doing things to Ryan, just like all of it, the talking and the spanking, _everything_ was doing things to Ryan. He filed the information into the newly created box in his brain labelled “The Shane Spank Bank”. It was already a weighty box.

Ryan caught his breath when he got a look at Shane’s face. Suddenly there was a whole symphony blooming like flowers in Ryan’s chest, a concerto of light and sound echoing around him and clutching on tight to the bleeding thing between his lungs because he was _lost_ , so lost in it, in Shane. He finally got it, finally understood. “Crush”, didn’t cover it, “interested” didn’t cover it. He was gone on him, so gone, staring at the elegant arch of his nose and the slope of his eyes and the beautiful, disarming pink flushing it’s way from his cheeks to his neck, staining the man the colour of peonies, of dahlias, of camellias and roses. Ryan could drown in this, could drown in the beauty and hunger of him, the pure sex dripping off the man in sweat lancing a bolt of satisfaction like no other through Ryan’s heart.

He meant to say something eloquent, something inviting, something wonderful. 

What came out was “Shane, you’ve gotta fuck me.” 

_Can’t all be winners._

Either way, Shane was grinning viciously, and he curled over Ryan’s body to kiss him, Ryan’s hands coming up to grip nails into Shane’s back and _scrape_. Shane moaned, and Ryan liked that he could leave a mark on Shane that would last for days, liked that Shane liked it too. 

Shane’s mouth left his as he fumbled with the lube bottle, slicking himself up and kissing down Ryan’s chest, sucking a nipple into his mouth and feeling Ryan’s torso leave the bed as he arched, a strangled moan inching out of Ryan’s mouth, because _God_. 

Suddenly, Shane couldn’t wait another moment. He shuffled forward the tiniest amount, rubbing the tip of his hard cock against Ryan’s hole, watching Ryan’s hands reach upwards and clench around the slats of the headboard. 

“ _Good._ ” Shane breathed, and then there was nothing but the swift press forward and the aching tightness around his cock.

Ryan, to his credit, was managing to stay mostly still as he came to terms with the new intrusion that felt _a lot fucking bigger_ than Shane’s fingers. The stretch of it was a little blinding, but Ryan whined to show Shane that he liked it, liked the hard flesh inching its way into his own, taking him apart from the inside. 

“You alright?” Shane breathed, trying not to shake, hands wrapping around Ryan’s thighs. 

“Good, so good, it’s just a lot,” Ryan got out, the stretch and pressure inside him beginning to feel directly connected to his dick as Shane inched forward a little more. 

Shane groaned as Ryan used the leverage of his hands in the headboard to fuck down a little, shoving in another inch. Shane sounded like it was killing him to stay still. 

It was fucking good though, Ryan was realising, it wasn’t scary or painful, it was just so fucking good, and he let his head hang back as he gripped the headboard for dear life, shoving his hips down with something attempting to be rhythm. 

“ _Fuck_ -” Ryan heard Shane mutter, and then he was picking up Ryan’s thighs with a little more purpose, just shallowly fucking into him at Ryan’s pace, the incremental slip-slide of his cock starting to feel like fire radiating out into Ryan’s belly. 

Ryan brought his head up, panting, opening his eyes to look at an utterly wrecked Shane. He was breathless and couldn’t seem to decide what he wanted to look at, eyes flickering between Ryan’s hands gripped into the headboard, his face, the sweat beading down his broad chest, his dick disappearing into Ryan’s body. 

He reached a hand up, thumb pressing hard onto Ryan’s nipple and Ryan briefly had the thought that Shane was truly maniacal as he arched, unable to help himself, the movement giving that final inch of space they needed to get Ryan’s ass flush to Shane’s hips.

“That’s all of me, baby,” Shane managed to get out, staring down raptly at Ryan. “You’ve taken all of me, so good.” 

It was the divine _praise_ in Shane’s voice that was getting him, Ryan realised, the pure devotion in his body as he twisted his hips sinuously, fucking his big cock into Ryan. 

And Ryan just, he was fucking gone with it, he threw his head back and begged, all semblance of pride thrown out the window at the blistering, aching heat that was building up in his body like a hurricane.

Shane was growling, yanking him closer by the legs and spreading his knees to get purchase on the bedspread, fucking into Ryan with purpose and force as Ryan _howled_.

Shane had the vague thought that they were almost definitely keeping up the neighbours, but he literally couldn’t bring himself to care. 

He was pistoning his hips, doing his best to keep a rhythm as he folded over Ryan’s body, bringing their mouths together in a messy kiss. Ryan let go of the headboard quickly, flying his hands to Shane’s back to grip on tight, eliminating any and all space between their bodies and - _fuck_. It was bruising in the best way, the harsh heat of Shane long and uncompromising inside of him, rattling his bones with how good he was getting fucked, getting it _given_ to him. It was all building up, a dull sort of pressure becoming sharp and insistent as Ryan tensed, realising that his orgasm was about to be fucked out of him from the inside.

He couldn’t help himself from crying out, fingers digging harshly into Shane’s back as he managed to say “Shane, gonna make me come, gonna fucking come -”

Shane was fucking him hard now, hips pulling back and sliding in deep, smooth and brutal and exactly what Ryan needed. Shane pressed a rough kiss to his sweat-soaked neck. 

“Come, Ryan, come on my fucking cock -” 

It was the pure filth in Shane’s words pushed into his skin that was burrowing into him and _twisting_ , and Ryan barely had the presence of mind to get a hand shoved between them, gripping around his dick.

That was it. He was flying apart at the seams, the pressure and heat and aching want in his body surging to the surface like deep ocean waves and he truly wasn’t in control anymore, could only try to hold on as his arm went vice-like around Shane, his hand squeezing his dick as he arched, shoving his hips down to get that blinding length into his body and breaking apart. White fuzziness was creeping in at the edge of his vision as Ryan came all over himself, his dick spurting up between them and sliding Shane’s torso smoother against his as he fucked Ryan through it, eyes trained on Ryan’s mouth that was blown open and crying out, looking for all the world like Ryan may be in the process of seeing God.

When Ryan flopped down, the tension leaving his body like a burst balloon, Shane was peppering his neck with kisses and groaning, teeth gritted tight, something vicious and possessive in his eyes. Ryan brought a hand up to brace on Shane’s hip, his limbs feeling fuzzy and the pleasant buzz of exhaustion weighing him down like lead. He was very much invested in seeing Shane come again though, considering how magnificent it had been the first time.

“You gonna come, Shane?” Ryan asked, biting his swollen lip and leaning up to lick into Shane’s mouth, something savage in the way Shane’s hands were gripping him so tight. He’d thought it a lot tonight, but it was possibly the hottest thing he’d ever seen. 

“Yeah, _fuck_ , Ryan -” Shane was panting, eyes going wide as his thrusts started to falter, his rhythm quickening, staring down at their bodies covered in Ryan’s come. 

“Give it to me, big guy, come on, wanna feel you come again.” Ryan said, leaning up to bite Shane’s neck a little, and then Shane’s fingers were digging bruises into his thighs and Ryan could _feel it_ when he started coming, Ryan’s heart tapping double as Shane hid his face in Ryan’s neck, groaning long and loud and whimpering a little, hips stuttering though the last ragged thrusts. 

Okay, scratch what he said before, _that_ was the hottest thing Ryan had ever seen. 

They lay there for a while, Shane not seeming particularly inclined to move as they caught their breath back, Ryan’s brain rebooting after a few minutes. By silent mutual agreement, Shane pressed a kiss to Ryan’s neck and began the disgusting job of extricating himself from Ryan’s body, the come on their chests having had the unfortunate effect of sort of _glueing_ them together. It was so gross that Ryan couldn’t help but giggle, looking at his and Shane’s matching patterns of come on their chest.

Shane was snorting, heaving himself off of Ryan to flop down next to him. 

Gently, Ryan took Shane’s hand, and he felt more than saw Shane smile next to him.

“What do you reckon, 7 out of 10?” Shane said, ruining the post-coital glow, and Ryan wanted to be mad about it but he was a child at heart and it was kind of a funny joke. 

“I reckon at least a 7.5, come on now.” 

Shane laughed, turning his head on the pillow to face Ryan, their noses almost touching. 

“You know what sucks?” Shane said, bringing their gripped hands up to trace his knuckles over Ryan’s crusty chest. 

“Me on your kitchen floor?” Ryan said, unable to help himself. Shane wheezed out a laugh, smacking their hands down onto Ryan’s arm. 

“No Ryan, come on now, that was so bad.” 

Ryan shrugged, but motioned for Shane to continue, grinning.

“It sucks that we’re probably gonna have a wonderful relationship together -” Shane said, and Ryan was confused because _wasn’t that the goal?_ , but then Shane was tapping him on the nose and saying “- and we owe it all to a Buzzfeed video.” 

Ryan shut his eyes, groaning, because it was actually the truth and oh God, people were gonna start lining up dates and guessing. 

Ryan shook his head. 

“I hate you.” He told Shane, meaning the opposite but unwilling to give him the satisfaction and maybe not quite ready to say it yet.

It kinda seemed like Shane got the message anyway though, like he always did, because he was leaning in and pressing a kiss to Ryan’s mouth, tracing a hand over his face. 

“Love you too, Ryan.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that’s the end of the story!! I hope you enjoyed it, please consider leaving a comment if you did to get me through quarantine haha xx
> 
> Also, I’m looking for prompts! Comment below if you have anything you’d like to see written!

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Thank you for reading! I hope you liked it - I always appreciate comments! This story is now complete, but I may add to it in the future if inspiration strikes.
> 
> I do not condone this work being shared to any website beyond AO3, such as goodreads etc.
> 
> I have a tumblr, if you want - screweduphearts.


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